Insult Or Not? And What To Do Next Time?

[sue11]

Hello all, our neighbours recently invited us round for a meal, this was the second time in quick succession and to try to help with costs and as a thank you I offered by a text message to make the desert. The text message went to her husband's phone and I got a response back from him to say that he loved the suggested pudding (banofee pie) and therefore to bring it with us.
We arrived and enjoyed the main meal, but when it came to pudding, I was informed that she already had one, a sticky toffee pudding and that she would heat and present that as well as the banofee pie!
Even though her husband suggested we would all be too full and he was not really interested in eating the sticky toffee pud, she ignored that and presented first my pudding, of which she only had a small amount and then straight after the sticky toffee pud.
I was a bit mystified as to why she did this, my pudding was home made and they have both had it before on a previous visit to our house, they both said they loved it which was why I thought it would be a great pud to bring with us. Her sticky toffee pudding was a shop bought one, still unopened which I would have thought she could have frozen if she wanted to.
My guess is that her husband got my text and accepted my offer without checking with her, she probably got annoyed with him and thought that she would make us all eat both! If I am right, I can understand her annoyance, but she could have just 'swallowed' (sorry for the pun) her anger and politely served my desert!
What does everyone else think? And I know we will get an invite round on another occasion but not sure what do in terms of offering anything to help out by way of food, we always take round wine or chocolates anyway.
Feeling a bit awkward over this!

[melv16]

The moral of this story is... Don't get too involved with your neighbours...

[Mamyalynne]

Would forget all about it and next time, just take wine.

[ummmm]

In all honesty I think you're being a bit OTT. I certainly wouldn't feel insulted.

[RandyMarsh]

i would go and punch her, what a ***.

[EcclesCake]

Husband probably didn't communicate with his wife. Hostess didn't want to be rude by not serving your pud. Yes, perhaps she could have frozen her STP but perhaps she felt it complimented her menu.

I think you might be over analysing the evening a tad.

Personally I don't like desert, the grains get stuck in my teeth.

[Sqad]

The husband forgot to tell his wife about the txt, so two puddings were offered.

[DTCwordfan]

It has bananas in it so that's me out. I'll vote for hers......

No, you are over-elaborating this. Offer her next time if she is doing the cooking - and that may not be the case.

[Jackdaw33]

Subtle, Eccles, subtle!

[sue11]

Thanks for the answers, ummm I am not really feeling insulted, but a bit awkward and wondering if she was angry or if in fact she is someone who likes, as a host to provide all the goodies and not need or want any offerings!
Yes, the delights of suburbia!

[jambutty]

melv for BA !!!

[sue11]

Thanks all, loving the responses, i think I will pass on the suggestion to punch her, but might start a leaflet campaign instead!!!

[Cloverjo]

If I were the hostess I would have offered both as a choice to the diners. If I were you I wouldn't get too upset about it. You did what you thought was the right thing.

The best thing to do is not go to dinner parties with neighbours.

[albaqwerty]

Personally, I'd apologise to her and say you're sorry if she was offended but there was a mix up in communication.
Rave about how wonderful her main course was tho

[andres]

Next time you are asked round just send her a text asking if there is anything that she would like you to take .

[ummmm]

Was she acting annoyed?

[woofgang]

say nothing, stay friendly but go easy. Best advice i ever had was to stay on good terms with neighbours but avoid getting close because its a b. if you fall out.

[Sqad]

The sqad's have been to many dinner parties and "neighborly meals" but we have never turned up with one of the courses.
Unless Mrs sqad made it clear that it was a "bring something " meal, she would be insulted if the guests turned up with the sweet or pudding.

Odd!

[Mamyalynne]

Pot Noodle in front of the telly, much safer ;-)

[sue11]

Thanks all, no I don't think she was outwardly annoyed but she was determined to serve us both regardless!!
Yes I probably am making a bit much out of this, but it is often the little things that you grow into huge mountains, if something really serious had happened I would have calmly and efficiently dealt with it!