BBC News: Internet Explorer users have a lower IQ says a study by Google Chrome.
A guy came up to me the other day and said I ought to stop making so many cutlery-based puns. I told him to fork off.
I am going to start my own guttering business, at the moment it is just a pipe dream.
What is the definition of propaganda? It is a male goose with good etiquette.
My Chinese friend said he would like to take on more responsibility at the family restaurant. I told him he was too far down on the peking order.
I have opened a school where I teach dogs to read and write. It is not going very well. They always have the same excuse for not handing in their homework.
I got caught by the Police selling filofaxes to the Mafia, I am now in prison serving 25 to life for my part in organised crime.
I was in America trying to buy a stick of 36 inches but I couldn’t find any. It is strange, I am always hearing about their yard sales.
I had a dream the other day. I was eating a biscuit. It was rectangular with rounded edges and coated with sugar. It was Nice.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up. It makes me chuckle.