Oh And His Deafness,

[Caran]

He has a real problem when he tries to Skype his son and daughter.
I can hear him from two rooms away saying I can't hear you, when I can hear what they are saying. He gets so frustrated. He should have had a cochlear ear inplant over a year ago but it got cancelled.
Has anyone any suggestions re skyping please.

[-SharonA-]

Does he not wear an hearing aid??

[Bobbisox1]

Headphones?

[Caran]

He wears hearing aids in both ears. He is stone deaf without them.

[Caran]

He cannot get on with headphones.

[Bobbisox1]

Headphones are out then , sorry :0/

[CrapAtCryptics]

Temporarily use the Skype for pictures and type text for the conversation.

[Caran]

Thank you CAC I'll pass that on to him.

[-SharonA-]

Is this because the NHS has no powerful aids for him??

[carolegif]

My OH is the same, but he won’t admit he has a problem! Went to hospital many years ago and they said come back in two years. Must be seven years ago at least! It is a nightmare! If he can’t hear me he says I am. It speaking clearly enough! He gets cross when I say the TV is too loud. Children say I should call the GP, but impossible with COVID.

[Caran]

He has NHS hearing aids. They reckon they are the best for the job, but that's debatable.

[-SharonA-]

Reason I asked is that I have a deaf friend and the NHS upgraded her aids but she cannot hear with them. So they too recommended a cochlear implant which she does not want.
She reckons she is going to look privately.

[JimF]

What's his problem with headphones? Some of the latest ones are so comfortable you can hardly feel them...

[puzzled54]

How about trying zoom instead of Skye, there is a facility to type as well as see each other

[eve1974]

Oh I empathise. And this is one of the ways this covid is affecting people like him. Communication! Husband lost 85% of his hearing due to side effects from sepsis and chem). Covid makes comms very difficult. He does now have hearing aids but even so masks (for eg) make things difficult. He also takes hearing aids out at home (they irritate his ears after a while and boy is it frustrating for ME....he keeps saying "stop mumbling" to me when I'm talking as loud as I can and really its him whose bloody deaf!!! Errrgh!

[eve1974]

sorry that 85% should read 85db (which means he is now classed as severely deaf).

[eve1974]

jimf many headphones are incompatible with hearing aids.

[Sqad]

A bit of sympathy here folks....for the deaf person.
In 99% of cases we have people with severe to profound hearing loss affecting the middle and high tones.
I simpler terms they can hear you but cannot understand what you are saying...they think that you are mumbling.
Headphones, hearing aids only add to their frustration in that the " mumbling" is also amplified.
They need a cochlear implant...
In the meantime speak slowly and precisely and be patient.

[eve1974]

Oh sqad - COMPLETELY agree re sympathy. It is not easy for the sufferer - esp if, (like my husband) it was a sudden thing, ( antibiotic induced ototoxicity. It causes a lot of frustration for them. However - it is also frustrating for the folk that have to deal with it. Doesn't mean we don't have empathy ... id rather have my husband alive and deaf then.... the alternative!

[eve1974]

its a way in which the masks impact a lot of people tho....and unless you / someone you know has severe hearing loss folk don't grasp how difficult this aspect of covid is for them.

[Eve]

I agree with Sqad. Mum and I both have Menieres Diease and she is quite significantly hearing impaired now, with the additional complications of pressure and tinnitus which increase the issues she has hearing. Headphones have helped a bit, but only for very short periods when she can tolerate them and only really when there is a clear conversation. It's easier one to one, if there are family chats, especially with children/background noise, then maybe make sure there is time for some one on one time somewhere quiet as well. As said above the chat function can be useful.

I adjust myself to her as much as I can, make sure that the room is quiet, so there is no background noise interfering and speak as slowly and clearly as possible (but in a normal way, not saying anyone here is but some people can tend to go a bit OTT, like you're a young child or stupid or speak in a more "shouty" manner). I also look for cues that she might not have picked up what is being said, especially when it's a group chat, so she doesn't feel left out and to cue others to repeat things etc...

Lipreading is a skill in itself, but just generally have them clearly face the camera so that it's an extra help, and sometimes general gestures and facial expressions can be an additional assists. Many years back, I found when I was learning some basic sign language, even though I was only a beginner, when communicating with people with hearing issues, I found that I could communicate a bit more than just with actual official sign language. It's something that can be developed over time, but that can be easier if they are communicating with the same person.

Do you have a local deaf centre? The one near here is brilliant. They may have ideas for things that could help and get togethers where he could meet others with hearing issues in a supportive environment, likely pick up some good ideas from others too, and maybe where they could too.