ChatterBank2 mins ago
Grief Deceased Friends Phone Number Found Should I Delete It
Hi I'm finding grief doing strange things to me. My friend of 20+ years died of Covid19 complications shortly before Christmas. Yesterday I was texting another friend and I looked for her number in my contacts and it was one letter above my friend who I suddenly realised I still had his number in my contacts. I don't feel up to deleting it. I've read the previous messages, they are all nice. Is this irrational having a dead friends contact details in my phone?
Answers
My very best friend and I fell out once many years ago.
When the Covid struck, she wondered if I was ok and phoned me but I wasn't at home so she left a message. I phoned her back and we became friends again. I still have her message on my answering machine even though our friendship is fully restored. We talk on the phone all the time and she often has to leave me a message, but I only keep that first message asking if I'm ok.
Logically you no longer have a need for the number and at some point it will be allocated to someone else anyway. Emotionally it's quite a step to delete a reference to a friend from your phone and thus your life. Were I you I'd leave it until feeling strong enough to take that step, if you ever do. No need to do so, nor to rush into it.
No, not irrational at all. There will come a time when you can look at your friend's phone number in your phone and feel only warm feelings of memory, rather than the raw pain you are feeling now.
So do not delete your friend's number. It is just one of the many links that you have to the person you loved, and who is gone from your life.
Be kind to yourself, and do not judge yourself too harshly.
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