How Do People Get Through Hard Times?

[StupidGuy]

What are your personal coping methods for stressful times/things that affect you?

 

I am really running out of ideas, and I would like some help.

 

For some scale, I spend hours lying awake each night staring at the ceiling, just full of volatile emotions that won't pass. I only get to sleep when I can convince myself to calm down. But everytime I use a method, it doesn't work for the next night. 

 

This question in hindsight has a bit of desperation attached to it, but I'm sure strangers on the internet can help my deeply personal issues!

[Khandro]

SG; Have you ever tried meditation?

[barry1010]

I am a very poor sleeper and wake up in the early hours with my brain going full speed thinking thoughts I don't want to think about.

This helps change the direction of my thoughts and calms me down - it is quite simple.  I think of a subject - dog breeds, road names that I have been down, town and villages in the UK, cities across the world, motorcyle marques going back 100 years, authors, musicians, artists.  It really doesn't matter what the subject is.

Then I compile a mental list from A-Z.  If I find it too easy, I think of two or three answers for every letter.  It is rare that I get to Z, and if I do, I start again with a different subject. 

[Khandro]

SG, I have a lot of books on Buddhism. Of those on meditation this one by Kathleen Mc Donald is the best. She guides you through the whole process;

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[Barmaid]

Barry I do that, but my 4am brain often poses irrelevant and useless questions like "what is the course of the River Nene?" "how many dukedoms are there in the UK" and I end up having to look them up.

I have found being very relaxed before I go to bed helps - ie not going from strenuous exercise, chores, finishing work, watching an action file to going straight to bed.  Abstaining from cafeinated drinks or alcohol for at least an hour helps.  The other night after a late finish, I sat in the garden listening to the silence (and the various animal noises) and was quite mellow by the time I hit the sack.

[Vagus]

My struggle is getting off to sleep and I've not yet found a solution. Sometimes I go to bed exhausted and as soon as my head hits the pillow, my brain starts whirring away. Sometimes I nod off quite quickly, there's no rhyme nor reason to it 🙄

One of my girls imagines winning a huge lottery, and what sends her to sleep is deciding how she's going to divide/spend it, works every time apparently.

[barry1010]

Barmaid, I watch very undemanding tv before bed,  I get too involved in books so don't read in bed unless I really have no hope of getting back to sleep. 

I gave up caffeine a few months ago and it has helped a bit.  I rarely drink alcohol due to my restricted diet but I do know that a little alcohol would help me sleep, but more than that and I was cursed.

[davebro3]

I find 1/2 bottle of vodka does the trick.

[Vagus]

I saw a programme about struggling to get off to sleep and it says if you're not asleep in about 10/20 minutes, then get up, leave the room, go into a different room and read for 10 minutes or so. Then go back to bed and you'll get off to sleep v quickly.

Ive done this a few times and it does work to a degree, it seems to break the cycle of becoming anxious about not being able to get to sleep. And cools you down, which is, apparently, another thing which helps sleep come. 

[Scarlett]

I have bad tinnitus which will keep me awake if I listen to it, so I swear by having some kind of spoken word to listen to. A podcast, or a story, or the shipping forecast. I'm listening to the Fawlty Towers commentary by John Cleese at the moment, it's on YouTube. Send me right to sleep

[jourdain2]

I get off to  sleep OK.  Red wine interspersed with a glass of cider works OK.  Its the 1.30 call to the loo... I get off OK after that, but then there is the 5 a.m. visit...after that I cannot sleep properly and doze , fighting off (inevitably succumbing to) the influx of 'worst scenarios', guilt etc. flooding me with adrenaline and goodness knows what else.

I don't know how to help you, or me.  I just know that you keep  going and eventually it goes.

I have faith, but even prayer does not seem to help to control my unconscious self at those times.  It's different once I am awake.

What can help is to wake up completely and read a chapter or two of the ongoing book. Good luck.

[jourdain2]

By the way, my first answer should have been that it you are fortunate enough to have a family - you hang on in there together.  You redouble your contact, you are there for each other.  on your own it's pretty bleak.

[StupidGuy]

Thanks, I will attempt them and see if they work!