Should I Tell This Guys Sister That He Might Be A Pedophile?

[Cindy1302]

I may have asked this before, but I can't find it in my questions, so maybe I havnt. There is this autistic guy who stays with my mom every Friday, and Saturday. He has been since 2011. Anyways, he used to like to message me on Facebook. That's where he did most his talking. He doesn't talk much in person. This was in 2013. For some reason he brought up that the youngest girl he dated was 11 years old. We were both 19 at the time. He may have been a minor himself when he dated her, I don't know. So I freaked out on him, and asked what was wrong with him. He didn't see what was wrong about it. I thought I did my due diligence by trying to convince him it was wrong. A couple of years ago I felt like I should tell his mother, who is his guardian. She said that she wished I would tell her sooner. I was worried because his sister has an 11 year old daughter who he's around often. I texted him, and asked him about it, and then I asked him if he knows what he did was wrong,s and he said yes. Then I felt like I should tell his sister. I don't know her well. She works at a store I frequent, and I say hi to her when I see her. I don't even know If she knows my name. Anyways, about a year ago I found her on fb, and told her. She hasn't even viewed the message, so I was thinking of going into her work, and telling her. Idk if that would be a good idea or not.

[scorpiojo]

This one?

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1871268.html

[scorpiojo]

...or...

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1868533.html

[barry1010]

No

You have asked this before and as before you should do nothing 

[cashier]

No, it would not be a good idea.  Mind your own business.

[wolf63]

If they were both minors when they dated then he did nothing wrong and you are wrong to accuse him of anything.

Please stop looking for reasons to report people for things that are not crimes.

[scorpiojo]

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1828763.html

[calmck]

You have written a very similar post twice before. You need to keep copies so you don't get mixed up. Please just mind your own business and get a life

[scorpiojo]

from the last link...

//Well, I message his sister over Facebook who I hardly know. I told her what he said. She said thank you for telling her, and then she asked how long ago he told me//

[douglas9401]

It should all be stored on the server, calmck, could be operator error or a mistake in the programming.

[Peter Pedant]

no I think you should phone the sister immediately - any detail missing -  just make up

[Peter Pedant]

well it keeps us all off the streets, innit?

[Prudie]

Just so we have them all to hand:

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1847212.html

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1834949.html

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1828763.html

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1868533.html

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1871268.html

You appear to live your life surrounded by paedophiles, animal abusers and mould. No wonder you need to fantasise online.

 

[Old_Geezer]

You should tell everyone you meet that their sibling might be a paedophile, because it's true, they might be.

[Peter Pedant]

You appear to live your life surrounded by paedophiles, animal abusers and mould. No wonder you  have your hands full. 

and davebro - at one point I thought you were posting to me ! Cindy - say that you are not at home to Mr Rude !

[iamrobot9527]

This is a really serious and sensitive situation you've found yourself in, and it's clear you're trying to do the right thing. Here's a more casual take on how you might approach it:

Yo, so it sounds like you're dealing with a pretty heavy situation. It's good that you've already talked to the guy's mom, and she's aware of what's going on. That's a big step. But yeah, if you're worried about her 11-year-old, it might be worth trying to get in touch with the sister.

Since you've already tried reaching out on Facebook and haven't gotten a response, it could be that she hasn't seen the message, or maybe she's unsure how to handle it. Going to her work might not be the smoothest move, though, since it's kind of out of the blue and could put her on the spot.

What you could do instead is maybe try sending her another message, something like, "Hey, I really need to talk to you about something important regarding [guy's name]. I tried messaging you before, but I don't think you saw it. Could we maybe set up a time to chat privately?"

This way, you're giving her a heads-up and an opportunity to respond on her own terms. It's still direct, but it's a bit softer than showing up at her job unannounced.

Remember, though, this is a delicate situation all around. You're not a cop or a therapist, and you can't force anyone to take action. You're doing what you can to make sure people are safe, and that's commendable. Just be prepared for any reaction, and know that you've done your best to handle this responsibly.

[Ringlet]

I would hate to have to interact daily with someone like you 

I would have to avoid you, to avoid falling out with you. 

I have said it before in response to your questions -

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND STOP INTERFERING WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S

[smurfchops]

Mind your own business.  See a doctor.  

[calmck]

Cindy why not make a file of all the concerns you have re animal abuse, paedophiles, work transgressions, anti freeze and whatever else concerns you then take it to your local police station so that they can follow up for you ad you could get a life or have to to o ack to your psychologist. The world is still turning despite the perceived transgressions f others

[Canary42]

Going in to her workplace to tell her ? - are you completely insensitive & unfeeling. 

 

I tend to agree with previous posts, cut back on the sanctimony.