You wait for one and then a bus load come along at once?

[leecamowol]

Hi again guys!

How are we all today?

Well I've feeling much better since my depressed state of earlier in the week so thanks for all your great kind words. I really feel that I just needed to talk to someone about it so I'm feeling very positive at the moment. But I've got a dilemma, it's one of those nice ones but not sure what to do ones!?

Right well briefly to recap my situation. Not very sociable young lad, feeling gay, went to uni, met a girl, got together, got engaged, 3 years later we split, me completely gutted, she moves out 2 months ago, use online dating sites, then start seeing a guy but feeling used for sex, avoid getting involved with a "bunny boiler" woman, feel suicidal as ex has new fella, get help and now feel much happier and positive ...leading to the dilemma??

I've been in touch with the guy lets call him J. We saw each other last night but still haven't done anything else like go out, cinema etc but valid reasons exsist as he keeps getting called into work. J claims today I am the one but doesn't want a new relationship (but seems happy to take the sex?!). J is cute but is he long-term material? Guy from work called A, month a go contacts me. He seems very nice "long term material" but due to J I don't take it further. Today A contacts me saying would like to get to know me more even as friends. In new positive attitude take some new pics of myself and reopen online profile, get floods of compliments about how good looking I am due to new pics. Finally, W a woman I contacted whilst in the early days of J finally contacts me back apologising for delay and wants to chat more. From profile and emails W is very nice.

[leecamowol]

What on earth do I do?? I know most people are going to say you've got to decide what I want first - guy or girl. But J was my first ever guy and my ex was my first ever girl so I'm so confuzzled. How do I approach this situation ... I don't want to get rid of J in case without the work things there might be something there ... infact we have talked of house sharing as we both sick of living alone and strapped for cash. I don't want to upset A as he is such a sweet caring guy and even though I know her the least I don't want to forget about W as she is the only woman to show any interest me other than my ex ever!

I've even asked my ex's mum watch if she thinks my new pics are any different to normal me as I'm gobsmacked but the volume of compliments I've received today.

So my ever so brilliant friends what on earth should I do!!? Thanks.

[country_boy]

Not much advice but if J thinks you're "the one" but doesn't want a relationship as such then he's full of crap and not "the one" for you. Just enjoy the attention for now and see how you feel over time. Don't rush into house sharing if there's more on the agenda, it's hard enough getting on with a housemate without added complications. Good luck and have fun

[havinmysay]

hmmmm im confused

so r u gay or straight

if your not sure i wouldnt settle for a relationship just yet

[leecamowol]

Well funny you should ask that as I was just putting a response on.

I would probably obviously say I'm bisexual but depsite my ex girlfriend being 100% okay with that it's just dawned on me that she is an exception and most woman are not okay with it. So the whole issue of revealing my bisexuality to new girl, what is the best way to go: be honest and up front or get to know her and only tell her in the future if we have one. I don't want to scare her off but I don't want to "lie" so she might be scared off later. She's bound to ask about my past so if ex's come up do I mention the recent guy or not!?

[country_boy]

honesty best policy, I've been out with bi girls before - as long as they don't cheat that's fine. Never managed to get some 3 way action tho :-(

[leecamowol]

Further update about J ... he's changed his online profile saying he wants a boyfriend now but he makes some very interesting comments which seemed to be aimed at me ...

Would like to meet:
"someone who is out", "no got a problem with who he is" and "someone who drives would be great and someone who is out too, I have spent too many years staying in the shadows because of people who wouldnt come out."

I'm guessing he's hinting about my situation really ... I would love to come out but like I've said it seems I could ailentate myself from the whole world if I do. My ex, a few close friends and my mum know ...

[TillyNilly]

It sounds to me J is playing you...Why don't you relax and enjoy these new people you have met....It looks like J is still looking....Go out with A and W....Boost your ego a bit....why not. have fun?..Maybe then you'll be able to decide who is the right person for you....J, A or W...How exciting!!