so confused

[Nat13]

i've been with my boyfriend for now for 5 weeks. however, on thursday we broke up because he posted a comment on his 'mates' myspace saying that he wanted her. i went a bit crazy at him (to say the least) and broke up with him. we got back together yesterday but i dont know whether it was the right move or not.

he explained that the comment was only made because she had asked him to say something nice. but i wasnt sure whether to buy that or not.

it doesnt help that he takes his phones with him everywhere.
he went downstairs the other day to get a drink and took both his phones.
i want to go through them, but now i'm worried what i'll find.

maybe i am being paranoid. but i cant help thinking the worst.
all my friends have said that he's f*****g me around but i cant.
he means so much to me and i realised that when we split up the other day.

everytime something like this happens, i always manage to take it to far and then he says i need to stop running away. but i feel like i wouldnt have to if he didnt keep things from me.
well thats what it feels like.

i dont know what to think anymore.
i believe he likes me as he'll do pretty much anything for me.
but i just feel there is always something he isnt telling me.
especially with his mobiles.

do you think i'm just being paranoid?
help please
x

sorry this is so long

[FUZZYBEE]

Hi Nat,
I think the fact that he has two mobiles may mean that he's not being straight with you. I'm not saying that is the case with everyone who has more than one mobile but unless it's needed for work or if he's on call then I think you should just be a little bit concerned. Whilst this relationship is obviously very important to you, it has only been 5 weeks and in the scheme of things this is not very long to get to know someone. I dont know how old you are but I am of the opinion that if deepdown you feel worried, or paranoid this is not the way forward, a new relationship such as this should not bring those emotions. Why would your friends also say he is mucking you about ? and why did you say," when this happens i always take it too far"? do these arguments occur frequently?
I think maybe you should cool off a little, don't see him so much and if he then becomes more attentive and want's to see you then you know that maybe the time that you've been apart has given him time to reflect on what he wants.
Just remember it's good to give people the benefit of the doubt, but look after No.1 too.
Good Luck

[alijangra]

Hi Nat13,

Whilst only you will know what to do, from having been in a situation where a so called 'friend' tried to sabotage my relationship I have three points to make after reading your story.

1. The myspace comment was on a public website so it was not done behind your back. This would suggest it was a joke/bit of fun?

2. I guard my privacy fiercely, I am very protective of my mobile as it contains private convos between me and my friends. I am the same with my emails and my other half knows not to go near them. This is not because they contain anything sordid, but my mum used to rake through my stuff when I was a teenager and laugh at my diary etc so I am quite paranoid about it now.

3. Beware of friends making sweeping statements about his fidelity. Unless they have hard evidence or can back it up, they really shouldnt be saying anything.


Only you will know what to do, why dont you ask about the mobiles? 5 weeks is early days, you should be having fun at this point and enjoying getting to know each other. One thing I have learned in life is that relationships are doomed without trust, be it friends, boyfriends or family.

[nadcookie]

Heya....Im not going to say that its postive hes keeping something from you but why dont you ever just ask if theres something there hes hiding?.. I mean im protective and have had alot of my personal belongings read by different people(My own diary was spread around when i was younger) But in your relashonship its about trust if I was you id ask him straight out about his two phones and ask is he protective of his phones or can you take a snoop its not going behind his back nor is it invading his privacy its meerly just a question!..Good luck XxX