Jobs & Education1 min ago
do i call
9 Answers
I am 18 years old and very, very shy. There is this guy that i have liked since i was 15. He is one year older than me. When i got to grade 12, i thought i would never see him again, i thought he graduated. But he stayed back one year so he was in grade 13, but doing grade 12 courses like me. I thought he was gonna stay for only one semester, so i wrote him a one page letter explaining all my feelings and how much i liked him, but i never signed it. To my surprise he came back for one more semester, he never left like i thought he would. Then i did something even more juvenile than the letter, i called him. But i never told him who was calling him. He kept asking me who it was, but i was too shy to reveal my identity. We had a total of four phone conversations about 15 to 20 minutes in length. During these conversations, he would sometimes ask me to call him back in 10 or 15 min and i would and he would pick up and we would resume where we left off. By the fourth conversation he insisted i reveal who i was or he was going to hang up and call bell, figure out my number, and look me up in the school year book. The reason why i really resisted telling him was because we are both going to the same university and bound to see each other again. i actually got a friend to tell him my identity over the phone. he then added me on facebook. I think the reason he added me was out of curiousity, since my facebook is very private and you can only see pics of me if you have been accepted as my friend. IThis friend said that i would call him back when i was ready to talk to him . I don't know if i should call him back or should i wait for him to do something. He has me on facebook so he can message me there and my facebook has my e-mail so he can add me on messenger too. I dont want to appear desperate, since im always doing the calling, but my friend did say i will call him back when i was ready. i just dont know what to do.
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Call him though. I was very very shy when I was younger, and I still regret not asking out a particular girl at university when I was 18.
If you know him to be a nice bloke then you have to give it a go. Given that the last move was your friend saying you would call him, the ball is firmly in your court. Get moving or else keep on wondering what could be.
Call him though. I was very very shy when I was younger, and I still regret not asking out a particular girl at university when I was 18.
If you know him to be a nice bloke then you have to give it a go. Given that the last move was your friend saying you would call him, the ball is firmly in your court. Get moving or else keep on wondering what could be.
You are both adults yet you are behaving like kids in a playground! The poor bloke doesn't know what to think. Phone him up, or better still, go and see him, tell him you really like him, and ask him to go for a coffee with you. Then you can chat in person. If he likes you, he will see you again. If not, then at least you know and can move on.
This is shyness on a scale that I can't really comprehend. I've written some (cringeworthy) letters back in my teenage years, but sooner or later was able to just come out and say something.
I think you need to ask yourself how long you're prepared to let this carry on for, and how much it could impact on your enjoyment of university life. It's so important to put yourself out there in the first few weeks, meet people and make new friends.
It's very easy to get caught up in the drama and fantasy of being really into someone, but that's not a real relationship. You've got to ask at some point, and he might say no, and it could feel pretty horrible. But we bounce back from these things, and no-one on this site can claim to have never had their affections rebuffed at some stage. Alternatively it might work out very well indeed, and you'll have something real to enjoy, but the key is action, and you can only do this yourself.
I think you need to ask yourself how long you're prepared to let this carry on for, and how much it could impact on your enjoyment of university life. It's so important to put yourself out there in the first few weeks, meet people and make new friends.
It's very easy to get caught up in the drama and fantasy of being really into someone, but that's not a real relationship. You've got to ask at some point, and he might say no, and it could feel pretty horrible. But we bounce back from these things, and no-one on this site can claim to have never had their affections rebuffed at some stage. Alternatively it might work out very well indeed, and you'll have something real to enjoy, but the key is action, and you can only do this yourself.
You aren't so shy. When I was a kid I wrote letters but never sent them.
You have done enough of the "mysterious". Just get out ther and take a chance. You are only young once and nobody ever got anything bar disappointment by being halfhearted.
You don't come across to me as desperate just smitten. First thing in relationships is to be who you are not try and make up another "cooler" identity.
It might not pan out and if it doesn't then it wasn't going to anyway. But what you learn will be invaluable. Go forth with your eyes open and don't be afraid.
You have done enough of the "mysterious". Just get out ther and take a chance. You are only young once and nobody ever got anything bar disappointment by being halfhearted.
You don't come across to me as desperate just smitten. First thing in relationships is to be who you are not try and make up another "cooler" identity.
It might not pan out and if it doesn't then it wasn't going to anyway. But what you learn will be invaluable. Go forth with your eyes open and don't be afraid.