I think when old people start buying all beige clothing, it is compulsory for them to also
Smell of TCP or Vicks or Lavender
Grow profuse ear & nasal hair
Buy Wethers Originals
Drink Sanatogen Tonic Wine
Buy tins of cat food for their tea
Send off for those bargain offers on TV such as a 75 CD set of Perry Como's hits for �3.99 (NOT available in the shops)
Moan about young people today
Take up crown green bowls
Have glow in the dark dentures
Drive slowly & never indicate
Save elastic bands & bits of string
Use doilies & chair back covers
Collect useless ornaments & souvenirs
Knit hideous sweaters for relatives
Open cupboard doors & gaze vacantly at the contents