Lovehearts, I have been in a similar situation. I had an 'arrangement' with a guy - it wasn't virtual but it was completely physical and it went on for a year and a half. At the start it was great cos I didn't want a real relationship, but after a while I started to feel bad about myself - like I was his dirty little secret. Then I started to think I had feelings for him and wanted more. Due to circumstances and a big fight we ended things and for a while I felt like you do now. He had become such a big part of my daily life and I missed him so much, but after a while I got used to not contacting him every day and then I realised it wasn't him I wanted, it was just more. I had gone into things not wanting a relationship, but I had reached the stage where I did want one, and I had fooled myself into thinking I wanted it with him because I was close to him and had opened up to him. It didn't happen and once I got used to him not being there I realised how glad I was that a. I'd had that experience and b. I hadn't taken it any further with him. I'd got through my 'not wanting a relationship' stage and I didn't want a relationship with him. For all we were close we really weren't suited personality wise. But it meant I was ready to move on and I did. I am now very happily married and so is he and I'd like to think we both helped each other get to that stage, but what we had together was purely physical, Move on and be happy - it'll take you a while to shake the habit of him, but you will,