Will this ever end?

[pru25]

About a month ago, my husband was arrested for assault against me. This was not the first time and was by no means the most serious. Indeed, I had been to the police before but, as there was no visible injury they did nothing. When the police came to take my statement, they did a risk assessment and asked for a history of any abuse in the relationship. He was charged later that night with battery and bailed with conditions not to contact me. He continued to contact me and assaulted me again only a few days later, threatening to kill himself. He was re-arrested, but, due to the suicide threat, was held only under the metal health act, assessed and then later released. The assault was ignored. A few days later, the police came to see me stating that they 'had not taken things as seriously as they should have'. I was asked to give further statements and I agreed. Since then, a further risk assessment has been carried out, placing me in the 'high risk category'. The interviews were harrowing and left me flitting between feeling numb and extremely distressed. The police have said that they want to arrest him for a further eight offences some of which are deemed 'extremely serious'. I have been fitted with alarms for both my home and outside of my home and I now feel as though I have been locked in, afraid to leave, with very little information about what is actually happening. I know the police are doing all they can and, although there are witnesses to some offences, in other cases, it is simply my word against his. I have spoken to some people about this and they have said it is unlikely that he will go to prison, despite the nature of the offences. Although part of me is hopeful, there is a part of me that agrees. After all, no one did anything for so long, even after I had been to the police. I am so worried that I have been put through all this for nothing. Is there any chance he will pay for what he has done, or will I have to live in a constant state of fear?

[KikiTiger]

Police in the UK take domestic violence very seriously. They cocked up but have seen the error of their actions and taken the bull by the horns. There is a high chance he will go to prison, is there any way you could move? In these cases you have to help yourself, if you can move do so and tell only the bare minimum of trusted friends family. "Men" like this are insecure and the only way they can exert their authority is picking on the weak and vulnerable. Phone up the officer in the case and ask them to come round, or if you can make an appointment to see them at the station. Make a list of your questions and concerns and ask what other help they can give you. Dont become a statistic. email me if you want any other help. x

[SizzleSquid]

you need to seek help from your police liason officer to see wether she can place you in a safe house or a residential premises which is secret to all but the dv workers who work there. You also need to do a net search and find some local domestic violence services who will able to offer you support, advice, help around your living situation and you should be allocated a dometsic violence case worker.

[abskil30]

it might be worth talking to the police about applying for a non molestation order against your husband at your local magistrates court. It may seem never ending but it is worth supporting charges against your husband.He may not go to prison - this time, but if you don't support the police then he is never going to be punished for his actions. The CPS can also apply for a restraining order in any criminal case against your husband.

[looby1914]

First of all well done on getting help.. i certainly know what it is like.

Im glad the police are taking things seriously.. unfortunately in my case they didn't do there jobs properly Have you got a local DV advice centre near you ?? Look up womens aid hun they have a lot of information and can even get you in to a DV safe house. Your lucky the police have fitted extra locks/alarms etc. I was put on the "very high risk" category and tbh the police were as much use as a chocolate teapot.

My ex got 3 weeks in prison after constantly breaching his bail conditions (( not helped by the police making exscuses and we proved they didn't do there job)).. then when the trial came, he had to do a Domestic Violence/anger course.. community service.. 24 months probation meetings etc and £100 compensation to myself. Not that I have received a penny. This was i 2007.

If you want to talk anytime I can give you my msn address/email

Good luck x