Before you even get an interview you need to be able to repeat "it's a good space" as any and every door opens, comment on how "light it is in here", admire the "view" be it hill, dale, sea or cityscape and finally moan about it being too noisy/quiet/isolated/overlooked.
On the plus side I think they buy the drinks in the pub for the call back from the estate agent.
Or you could just Google Kirsty & Phil and apply online.
and you can't say "The bloody bells; I not living near that Church" or "How many yobbos do you get at the weekend?" or "That beer in the Rat and Bucket is crap."
"crash pad"! More like drunken w@nker's sh@g haven with not too much to tidy up.
"Original features": This'll cost a fortune to bring up to date.
"Kerb appeal". Big Issue seller at the gate every day.