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wolf63 | 16:56 Tue 26th May 2015 | ChatterBank

24 Answers

This has just been posted on Facebook by the nice Policemen in the Scilly Isles

»»»»»» Isles of Scilly Police at Isles of Scilly Police

The MV Cita, a 3000 tonne cargo ship wrecked up on shore on St Mary’s in March 1997 sinking and losing its cargo with thankfully no loss of life.

Wikipedia records the charitable efforts of locals “assisting in the clean up operation”. It is on record that no prosecutions were brought under The Merchant Act of 1894 for looting so clearly everything was all above board and I applaud that.

I mention this because, interestingly, the date of this event coincided with an unusual phenomenon in which most all the vehicles on the islands got new tyres. The wreck therefore foretold of improvements in road safety.

Coincidentally and irrelevantly I am informed that this date also saw the almost universal replacement of interior doors and computer mice with everyone wearing the same plimsoles and T-shirts. Uncannily a similar cargo to that of the MV Cita.

1997 was quite a while ago now and whereas I am certainly not wishing for another wreck some tyres on some vehicles are looking worn and could do with replacement.

Please check your tyres regularly and order in new before the ones you have become defective. I have reported two vehicle owners today for being on the road with between them 4 bald or cracked tyres. At 3 points on a license per tyre this could be costly.

The Cita now lays at rest at about 60 meters off the coast and I am advised that all its cargo has been removed. Best order new through the established routes.

Sgt Colin Taylor

Charities

Chuckle

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retrocop

seems like some more work for the wreckers.Now where did I put that lantern and tripod set.

DTCwordfan

They have just got their first traffic lights - were these nicked from the bridge? And what about the yellow stripes on the roads, where did they come from?

wolf63

Question Author

Yellow lines do not seem to work very well in Scilly DTC

This is from Sunday

>>I absolutely love being on duty on Sunday on St Mary’s, it is fun. What makes it for me is the special game the drivers of this fair isle have made up for me and Mat. Just like a Victorian Parlour Game. We call it “Lets Pretend we didn’t know Sunday was a Day”.

The rules are simple.
Rule 1: Resident drives car into town and park it on the yellow lines between 9 and 6.

Rule 2: If approached by police officer driver says words to the effect,
“OH! I THOUGHT IT WAS OK ON A SUNDAY.”

Rule 3: Police Officer responds
“THE SIGNS SAY 9am TO 6pm THAT’S EVERY DAY.”

This is just the set up. The fun bit comes next. It is now for the driver to come up with all manner of wonderful and creative responses but the central rule is this. The driver must try not to say,
“SUNDAY ISN’T A DAY” or its back to school do not collect £100.

Sometimes Rule 2 never happens because we are elsewhere, not being Traffic Wardens. In this instance the Driver wins.
Sometimes Rule 2 does happen and then the driver looses. It will result in a fine. In this instance nobody really wins.

Don't park on the yellow lines Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday AND Sunday bewteen 9am and 6pm. If you want this changed I can only advise you speak with one of your councillors who can represent your views to the Council.

(Two tickets so far today)

Sgt Colin Taylor

Retro - they have pictures of boats full of tyres on Facebook :-)

DTCwordfan

note: must send them some red paint then.....

DTCwordfan

you will enjoy this one then, wolfie

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/9080001/Scilly-islanders-complain-to-police-over-parking-warden-prank.html

DTCwordfan

‘My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as a Cornish island. I said to him “Don't be Scilly”.’ – Tim Vine (adapted by me).

Ellipsis

> Don't park on the yellow lines Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday AND Sunday between 9am and 6pm

I think he means "OR" Sunday ... otherwise you'll be fine if you park between those times on up to six days of the week.

retrocop

I would behave myself if I were in the Scillys and not upset the local constabulary. I recall sailing through a shallow strait at low tide and seeing the Hangmans Gibbet on the port side.Still got a photo of that somewhere.
If parking is the only concern of the Devon and Cornwall Constabulary then the threat of Capital Punishment must be doing a good job. :-)

DTCwordfan

I keep my head low down 'ere, retro, very low, as in stocks low! No messin' around with us or we'll have the Red

DTCwordfan

Redcoats in, flattening the Vyvyan Arms in Camborne, site of the world-record ferret-down-the-breeks champion.....

retrocop

Now that is Police brutality for sure.Wrecking a hostelry in Cambourne indeed.
The great unwashed SWP have it so lucky in London. :-)

DTCwordfan

send them a few Mebyon Kernow reps - with their black and yellow kilts on...and we dinna need any sporran like them wussies.

wolf63

Question Author

I really hope that you are all talking in code because it is all Greek/Dutch/Welsh to me.

I can see many reasons why living in a small community would be great - but I am not much of a people person and having all these people that you know and have to talk to (even in passing) would stress me out.

I will stay up here in the safety of Perth - with my two sabre tooth tigers.

DTCwordfan

you would probably have six to eight feline monsters on the Scillies, wolfie - there's all that mackerel and sardines to feed off when the boats come in.

wolf63

Question Author

I hope that this link works. This is the last Deputy chief constable was a really handsome chap.

http://tinyurl.com/obrc3yg

DTCwordfan

"PC Panther, move your ass now an' go an' catch sum of them Falmouth rats - an' I'm not talkin' them rattus norvegians."

wolf63

Question Author

DCC Mowgli is mega handsome. He was accused of kidnapping a goldfish once. Being a high ranking force member hewiggled his way out of it all and refused to confess.

DTCwordfan

as they do, one PCW Rosie caught here yesterday, a field mouse with its heart out of its body, right in front of the bathroom at 4.45am yesterday.....elina grossed out!