when to stop buying pressies for nephews/neices

[bednobs]

answering another question made me wonder this. we have six nephews between us. This year one will have reached 18, so i was thinking of stopping sending him something now (see him less than once a year) one of the others is 17 but has left education, so (in theory) is in the world of work so perhaps we should stop him too? he isn't actually in the world of work because he can't be bothered, which makes me want to stop even more!

What do you do?

[NOX]

I still send to adult relatives but something small and very naff if I don't like them, or large and nice if I do;-)

[ummmm]

I stop at 18.

[whiskeryron]

Only buy now for immediate family ( Daughter, Son in law, 2 G/Sons)

[bednobs]

the problem is i like the 18 year old and despise the 17 year old (different families) so would be quite happy to go on sending a voucher to the oldest one but it does not really seem fair!

[daffy654]

I have never bought for my nephews and nieces, and my sisters and brothers have never bought for my children.

I would think as soon as they have left school they should stop expecting gifts from extended family though.

[bednobs]

you see i like that answer daffy, cause it means i could stop the 17 year old this year.

[bednobs]

ps he also pisses me off by "swapping" whatever vouchers we send with eithe rhis mum or dad and getting the cash

[hippyhoppy]

Hmmm... have this dilemma too.. My eldest nephew is 22 now and his sister is 19.. but I'm her God Mother.. so part of me feels I should send her something but can I send her something and not him... ?! And my sister (their mum) gets very touchy re her kids and might get a bit narky if I miss him out... Dilemma indeed...!!

[boxtops]

We have zillions of neices and nephews, so we agreed a family rule that we stop when they are 18 - personally, we send £18 on the 18th birthday then £21 on the 21st, but other than that, no presents at all for christmas or birthdays, they just get a nice card.

[ummmm]

Do they speak? The nephews from different families?

[daffy654]

I would probably be a complete b1tch and send him a book on finding employment and interview techniques... if such a thing exists. :)

[bednobs]

i suppose a little bit of me thinks it unfair (in a foot stamping way) because we don't have any children, the sister dosen't buy ours a pressie. Therefore over the years they have had more pressies from us as we have had from them. I know it's supposed to be about the giving but i like presents!

[bednobs]

lol @ the job finding book!
no, they dont speak as far as i know

[boxtops]

I know what you mean, bednobs, we have none ourselves, but between us, our brothers and sisters have nine - plus great nephews and neices now popping out, too!

[shaneystar2]

I'd be shelling out mega money if I bought for all my lot
I've got 18 nieces and nephews and inumerable greats and great greats .
I only buy for the youngest great nephew now who is also my god child .Once they reach eighteen that's it .
I just buy for immediate family these days and that's quite enough already :)

[bednobs]

well, they are both OH's nephews, so i'll let him decide (and pay!)

[boxtops]

I think many of us are going down that route now, shaney!

[mrs.chappie]

We stop buying for them when they reach 18.

Christmas presents are a bit of a sore subject in our family so I'm happy to be "out of the loop" as it were.

[Bambiagain]

Bednobs, I'm in the same position as you - no children and buy presents for friends and all their children, as well as various nephews and nieces. From the friends I get one present per family, and my brother sometimes buy something, more often than not nothing. His son thanked me on the telephone for his eighteenth present (because Dad dialled the number) but didn't even acknowledge my email for his 21st. If I don't get thanks, I give up (apart from the very young ones who can't thank me).