Mmm, How Can I Find Out?

[nextqueen]

my OH has changed his password to his email account. He has always said that he has nothing to hide and whevever he has said his complicated password I've sounded bemused by it and not made a fuss about it. I've known his password for years as found it written down somewhere. I go on his email account now and again to admit, have a nosey as he's let me down in the past. Now he has changed it, I don't know what to think or do. I can't exactly ask him why he's changed it nor can I suddenly ask to look at his emails as it's been a recent change. Ive noticed now that when you log off yahoo which it is, it shows you the option to look on account info and profile where you can see when you have previously logged on. I am assuming he has seen this and knows it can't be him. Failing all this, I am a bit panicky in case he is up to something. I have felt like I know what he is up to or not up to but once I know a password if he volunteers a new one, he will know I can see everything and then may resort to having another 'secret' email address. They always say what the eye doesn't see, the heart doesn't grieve over, don't they! So basically how can I find out why he has changed his password, this is probably a 64 million dollar question?

[boxtops]

ask him.....

[bednobs]

why on earth would you want to?
if you don't trust him, what hope is there for your relationship
if you do trust him, you don't need it

[Barmaid]

I think your biggest issue is trust. If your relationship is such that you feel the need to be constantly checking up on him there are deep deep rooted problems which need sorting if the relationship is to continue.

[echokilo]

Either ask him - and risk a row and your relationship ....... or don't and bottle it up, worry and risk your relationship .................. not a nice situation I agree ................. but what's happened before that you have been checking up on him?? Any other ways to see what he might be up to? Are you just suspicious because of past performance, or something recent you have observed?

[nextqueen]

He has given me cause to not trust him in the past and as I said, he said I can look at his account no problem but he doesn't or didn't know I knew the password. I will never be able to check again once he knows I know the knew one, yes sad I know, but gives me piece of mind and up to now, found nothing much of interst.

[echokilo]

As others have said - the issue is clearly trust ...... but can see why it's an issue if you have been let down before ... but why expect a repeat?

[Barmaid]

If you absolutely must find out, there is key logging software you can get. I would be inclined to ask that question in Technology. But my previous post (and those similar ones above) stand.

[Barmaid]

Right let's put 2 and 2 together.

He didn't know you were accessing his email.
You didn't find anything of concern despite his lack of guard.

So from that the two possible conclusions are:-

he isn't up to anything you can trust him or
he is up to something but has it so well hidden knowing this new password isn't really going to help either way.

[Paulsy]

It may be something simple like he used that same password for many rings and changed it for security reasons. I done that as mine was too easy to guess and the same as for other accounts like online shopping etc. If he gets his emails straight to his phone you might be able to snoop there...

[Eve]

Maybe be had his email (or something else) hacked, happens a lot, or was just worried about security (someone he knew was hacked, he saw an article, all kinds of reasons).

[Paulsy]

^ things not rings

[nextqueen]

A few weeks ago, I tried to get on my yahoo account while sitting in the lounge with OH, as OH hadn't logged out, I mentioned that he hadn't signed off and I had to do it for him. Maybe this has bothered him but that surely shouldn't have anything to do with a password. I reckon he has seen how many times I have logged on, it's horrible 'the unsaid' between us. The keylogging software sounds good but scared he would see it there.

[SeaJayPea]

Ask yourself how you'd feel if he logged on as you and read this post.

Everybody's entitled to a bit of privacy, surely.

[Hopkirk]

I have absolutely nothing to hide, but would be furious if my wife read my e-mails.

I wouldn't dream of looking at hers either.

[hippyhoppy]

Ditto Hopkirk... how very rude to go poking around in his private stufff..

[Voulez-vous]

Not sure what he may be up to nextqueen, but I honestly think you are in the wrong here. Trust him, or don't trust him, your choice, but checking peoples internet history is a bit naff............it's usually harmless and should be private.
Would you like him sneaking about checking your e-mails and internet history? It's a privacy issue.

[Voulez-vous]

What an excellent point, SeaJayPea!

[society]

Seriously......
Sounds like you have trust issues with your husband.

[sara3]

If you don't trust him, why are you together?

[Brinjal]

Why have a secret password in the first place. If there is nothing to hide then why be secretive. Sadly tho when trust is gone in a relationship it is very hard to feel at ease. If you did see something you didn't like what would you do? Contine in the relationship and try and change him or check up and police him the whole time. Or move on. Either way it's not an easy way of life and you need to ask yourself do you really want to know?