Kids

[marval]

Two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance.

"I look like Mum," said the nine-year-old, "but I have Dad's eyes and Dad's lips."

The six-year-old said, "And I look just like Dad, but I have light hair."

Then she turned to her mother. "Mum," she asked, "what does Dad have to do with us being born anyway?"

The older sister jumped right in, "Don't be stupid, Dad is the one who drove Mum to the hospital."


When the driver stopped the school bus to pick up Chris for nursery school, she noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.

"Is that your grandmother?" she asked.

"Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us."

"How nice," she said. "Where does she live?"

"At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."


An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery.

Pausing before one gravestone, he said, "There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 pounds, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts and if anyone has gone to Heaven, he has."

They walked on a bit farther and then came to another grave.

The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, "Now, there's a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60 pounds and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has gone to Hell, he has."

The little boy thought for awhile and then said, "You know, Granddad, you are very lucky."

"Why"? asked the old man in surprise.

"Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have some money waiting when you get there!"