Not The Best Chat Up Line

[mrs_overall]

I have had an overnight stay in hospital and late at night I nipped outside for some fresh air (and possibly to inhale some carcinogenic substances)). There was a fellow patient outside and I have to admit he was very easy on the eye. He said hello and introduced himself and I did likewise. After some general chitchat and minor flirting, he leaned towards me in a conspiratorial manner and came out with the killer chat up line
"Would you like to see my colostomy bag?"

[pixie373]

You've pulled! How are you? Xx

[mrs_overall]

I am fine thanks x

[Sqad]

You answered......."no and don't call me bag."

[mrs_overall]

Sqad, it is never too early in the day for a slap!

[pixie373]

Lol :-)

[Hopkirk]

I hope you didn't pull

[mrs_overall]

Before I could answer he whipped up his t shirt and showed me the said colostomy bag. He then proceeded to give me his full medical history. I made my excuses to leave and his parting line was"I'm on ward 8 if you want to come and see me." This was said with a wink.
Fortunately I went home the next day.

[anneasquith]

ward 8 eh. you going to visit him later ?

[murraymints]

hope you are all better now xx

[Peter Pedant]

poor guy

the six months I had a defunctioning ileostomy were definitely the worst of my life- and that is even in comparison with 12 mo chemo

PS I look like an ordinary bloke ( own teeth etc )

[gness]

Now this is getting silly......too many coincidences......the accidents....the accordion playing....and now you've had a guy showing you his colostomy bag too????.....Twins indeed!

Still, at least yours had some clothes on.....I was taken completely by surprise...... and no, it's not what you're thinking....... :-(

[SlackAlice]

You should whipped out your 'sharpened' hairpin and stuck it in the colostomy bag. Thats assuming you weren't interested.

You weren't interested were you?

[anneasquith]

I'd like to know what mrs. o . showed him ?

[EDDIE51]

I was once at a party when I saw a girl I knew slightly. She smiled at me and I went to sit down beside her, she leaned across to me and whispered in my ear '' I've just made myself be sick'' Rather put me off !

[shoota]

'Chat up lines' - what are they?

[marval]

Hope you are alright MrsO, you could have offered to show him your sex change op scar.

[Hopkirk]

Actually I think he is employed by the hospital.

He is part of the team trying to reduce smoking on the hospital grounds.

[Jackdaw33]

None of the hospitals around here permit smoking in any part of the grounds. The sight of people standing at the gates in their nightclothes puffing away is rather sad. A smoker myself, I couldn't do that. 18 months ago I spent 17 days in hospital and had no desire to smoke. You don't when you're ill.

[Fusion5]

you are lucky it was just his bag he was showing you.

When my daughter was in A & E a few months ago, I went outside to get a bit of air and a guy covered in blood offered to show me his knife, I made a quick exit and called security.

[mrs_overall]

Gness....I thought you knew we were twins separated at birth? It's just so unfortunate I got the looks AND the brains....

Jackdaw, I hadn't intended this post to turn into a debate on smoking on hospital premises but I have to reply to your rather sanctimonious comments. So you spent 17 days in hospital and state that when people are ill they have no desire to smoke.
I spent most of 2014 in hospital so I feel I am more than qualified to comment on illness. When I am ill, the occasional cigarette helps me greatly. I don't stand at the hospital gates looking like a saddo.
Regular patients keep well away from the doors but tuck themselves away....to the area where all the staff go for a smoke.