Alba's Ab Cruise Ship

[gness]

Dear Miss Alba

Thank you for confirming my booking on your cruise.

I am sorry you have been unable to source industrial strenght ear plugs for the other passengers ....and that your offer of a free place to any aber willing to share a cabin with me has also been unsuccessful...

I am surprised that the Captain turned down your suggestion of sound proofing a lifeboat so that I could hang over the side of the ship....well away from any other passenger.
Has he no faith in his seamanship? That he thinks we will need the lifeboats is worrying.

I'm sure I will be comfortable in the lonely hammock on the poop deck........

Snoring does cause problems...... :-(

Yours,

Gness.

[shoota]

You know full well your cabin is full and there is a queue at the door....


Just like old times.


Just make sure you don't fall asleep.

[sunny-dave]

Poop Deck ??

Are there no ensuite facilities?

[albaqwerty]

oooh, I like a poop deck.

Snoring doesn't really cause problems y'know. Mr Alba tells me I snore but I swear I don't cos I'm sleeping

[gness]

I know nothing of the queue, Shoota.....nobody's letting me close.... :-(

Dave.....Alba is bringing a commode for me...right, Alba?....A blinged up commode...x

[shoota]

How much room do you need Albs?

[albaqwerty]

I need a gurt big hammock Shoota
(have reported meself for sheer stupidity and asked if it could be sorted)

Gness, it's a floral commode, in one of the arms is a chain-saw and the other tree-loppers :-)

[gness]

Oh, Alba...you are a star....the commode of my dreams.....I can even make the sounds of a chain saw too.......x

[shoota]

Tree loppers?
Why not four, bejasus?

[gness]

Because tree's company....four's a crowd.... ;-)

[shoota]

Plagiarist

[albaqwerty]

careful Shoota, you never know where those tree-loppers will lop :-)

[gness]

Sigh....x

[albaqwerty]

every time I see the word plagiarist, it puts me in mind of the joke about the 12" pianist.
I don't know why, but you lot know I'm strange anyway

[shoota]

12" pianist?
Bit low key for you.

[sunny-dave]

Isn't Mark Commode the BBC film critic?

[albaqwerty]

all I can play is chop-sticks, so when we hit an ice-berg, I'll be chucked off :-)

[albaqwerty]

and how very rude of me - apologies for not sourcing the industrial ear-plugs.
I suggested concrete, but Elfinsafety frowned on me dunking passengers' heads in concrete.

[gness]

Huh....I'm on the poop deck......who'll be in most trouble when we hit the iceberg....those lettuces can be lethal.....

Right...off to walk and chase birds....see you later....x

[albaqwerty]

happy scaring birdies gness :-) xx

Am going to go and peel spuds

[fraser]

Does water boatman know you are still trying to rent out his canal boat!!!