What Does Silence Sound Like And Darkness Look Like?

[cassa333]

For me there is no such thing as either.

The noises in my head are so loud (more so at night when all else is quiet) that it is akin to living near a busy airport or something. Constant whistling, shrill rapid tapping (I heard the same noise a few years ago when a stone got caught in the wheel of the car) and engine like thrumming all compete to be the loudest.

When I wake in the dead of night and with my eyes closed I see the constant swirling vortex of thousands upon thousands of tiny coloured lights that have no real shape but throb with eerie incandesce.

Someone once discribed the lights as visual Tinnitus. How very apt considering I actually have Tinnitus.

I often wonder if it will send me mad one day?

[gness]

Oh hell's teeth, Cassa....both! Poor you.....I had tinnitus for about a year until I had an accident with scalding hot olive oil......thought it would send me mad.

I never see darkness......I see coloured lights and pictures...not imaginings....but pictures of people....animals.....all sorts of things but contained at a distance.... Almost like on a television screen.....I quite like it.....
...but I can stop that by opening my eyes.....the noises in the head I hated....I do feel for you.....x

[Arksided]

Sounds as though that's going to be a very short journey ;-)

[Psybbo]

Your tinnitus has gone Gness, please tell me how

[Answerprancer]

I don't mean this in a *judgemental way but do you have schizophrenia?
(*hence no comment on your last sentence, as IMO that's subjective)

[gness]

Psybs......I think mine was caused somehow by a grommet in the wrong place......And kind of conducting my heartbeat somehow......I heated some olive oil but heated it too much....poured it off a spoon into my ear.......hopped around the room for a while, squealing. When all calmed down the tinnitus had gone. Wished I'd done it a year earlier....x

[Psybbo]

Thanks Gness, I'm not sure I'm brave enough to try that X
Still in this fair land?

[Answerprancer]

I used to get a similar experience when I used to smoke pot, it was great, especially if I put headphones on and lay on my bed deliberately with no intention to sleep. If you have the inclination, maybe you could express these experiences creatively ...drawing, poetry, music etc. Maybe it's a gift.

[gness]

I am, Psybs.......in Sneem.......a beautiful day here......with a huge shadow cast by the news.....
So I sat in the sensory garden and wondered if the time has come to move back here and watch birds and ......well just be.....x

[Answerprancer]

Sneem's in The Meaning Of Liff :-)

[Answerprancer]

http://tmoliff.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/sneem-nvb.html

[gness]

I didn't know that, AP...x

[Mamyalynne]

Nice place to be Gness.


http://sneemireland.com/

[Mamyalynne]

I'm not too bad with silence most times but do get visual imagery with closed eyes, maybe because I have very large optic discs and open angle glaucoma.

[Psybbo]

I must go back there some day, it's been too long, waves to Mamyalynne

[gness]

It's beautiful, Mamya......Sneem means knot.....which I guess it does look like....x

I put my visual oddness down to having synesthesia.....which I like.....makes my life colourful.....

[Mamyalynne]

Waves to all.xxx

[Psybbo]

Sorry, tired but can't sleep, hello Cass and AP x

[cassa333]

Not schizophrenic just tinnitus and visual tinnitus lol

It is maddening when I am as tired as can be but the noise and light just won't let me settle.

I had read a while back that one bloke killed himself because he couldn't cope with the constant noise. But perhaps he had an underlying mental disorder?

I have tried all sorts of things. I have had sleep hypnosis tapes playing. Of the 30 minute tapes I was waiting 15 minutes for it to work and then when it did as soon as they finished I woke up.

I have tried white noise but to be able to hear it above the inside my head noises it was loud enough to keep my OH awake.

Although luckily it died down considerably, last year when I had emergancy surgery the visual tinnitus was so bad I was unable to sleep for six nights. It was like stone lights going off every three seconds. I really did think of throwing myself off the moterway bridge then.

[Answerprancer]

How about just having a few things around your room that add a gentle background sound? Wind chimes, a blower fire set to cool maybe.
I live in a shared place where there is sometimes unwanted noise from outside or in the room below me. In winter I keep my blower fire on (low) in summer just the fan bit with no heat.

[gness]

Right...two things to try, Cassa....well three maybe.......have you tried hypnotherapy, acupuncture and massage?
I got temporary relief from hearing tinnitus through acupuncture......
I love massage....a proper massage....not faffing about with aromatherapy massage... It doesn't cure...but it helps....
I don't know about hypnotherapy because I just can't be hypnotised....but a friend who's a hypnotherapist...and he does it for free....has had some fantastic results for folk with long term problems of all sorts.

There must be an answer....and you sound at the end of your tether...Gx