Spending Inheritance

[mumstheword1]

I am now 56. Hubby 53. We have always worked from being 16. I had return to work when children were only a few months old, not through choice but necessity. Now in last 3 years things have changed. I was offered redundancy after 36 years and got a decent pay out. Father died so siblings and I had house money and I gave taken some money out my pension. We have more money now than ever had. So have started to travel more. Been to Budapest, Prague, Amsterdam, New York, Vegas, Spain twice, Croatia. Now a friend has said to me that she things I am being selfish and I should be looking after my children, which I do. She has really riled me. What do you think?

[sherrardk]

It's your money, spend it as you see fit. Your children should be happy that you are happy. Is it possible that your 'friend' is jealous?

[ummmm]

No...I think you should spend it on whatever makes you happy. It's your money so don't feel guilty about it.

[campbellking]

Would rather have my Mum than her money so always tell her to do what she wants with it . Not at all bothered if I get anything, would rather just have a few sentimental bits when she goes. Don't have any children of my own so won't have to think too about who gets what.

[gness]

Poppycock! You both worked for it....now enjoy it!

My mother made sure there was plenty of money....and a house to leave when she died....despite us trying to get her to spend on herself...
She's been paying all that money in care home fees for the past six or so years....
Could it be that your friend envies your new lifestyle?.... :-)

[Ryzen]

Spend it while you can.If the kids are fit and healthy they can sort themselves out.Your friend may have a touch of the green eyed monster.

[woofgang]

I think its none of her business and to me she sounds jealous. She also doesn't sound to me like a friend and if I was in your shoes, I would tell her to go forth and multiply.

[NoMercy]

Tell your friend to keep her big beak out.

You looked after your kids when you raised them. Now it's your time.

[237SJ]

You get to an age where you need to spend the money on yourself. I can understand that a person needs to save for the future when they are in their 20s but when you get older, you need to use the money that you have earned to give yourself a good life. That is what your hard earned money is for. You can't take it with you.

[mumstheword1]

I don't think she s jealous as she is not short of a few bib but she doesn't do anything with it. She hasn't been abroad for a few years now but easily could. When I suggested she have a bit of a splurge she was horrified and said that she is not wasting her children's inheritance like I am. I told her that I don't consider it wasteful. It has left me feeling quite uncomfortable with her.

[davegosling]

Completely agree with other posts! You don't have a friend - you are acquainted with an ignorant busybody. Tell her to mind her own business. Or, even better, ask her to explain precisely what gives her the right to make your business her business.

And enjoy your retirement! You've earned it :-)

[Baldric]

I think it's your money and it's nothing to do with her what you do with it.

[woofgang]

You can envy people for things other than money.....maybe she envies you your happy marriage or your adventurous spirit.

[gness]

She doesn't have to short of money to envy you, Mums.......I had well off friend who was more than miffed to discover that I was a well off widow when my husband died......she had assumed I'd be fairly penniless and needing her help......with money and finding a lodger to help pay my bills......:-)
That and the way I'm living and enjoying what we both worked hard for hasn't gone down well and the friendship's dwindled quite a bit.....

Really think she's envying your lifestyle however she couches it...x

[Peter Pedant]

you have worked hard for it
it is your money and spend it how you like

I note she didnt help you earn or get money when you were shorter so there is no need to listen now

[choux]

Do what you want to do. Your friend has made you think about the situation - it is for you to decide about the friendship too.

Would you really take notice of complete strangers rather than your friend?

I think a lot of the AB people post what they think makes them look good in the eyes of others. They don't know your circumstances. You cannot say that of your friend.

[New Judge]

"...and said that she is not wasting her children's inheritance like I am."

You should point out to her that it is not her children's inheritance until she has died and left it to them. Meantime enjoy your retirement.

[woofgang]

I wonder if she uses the inheritance thing to get power over her children?

[Mamyalynne]

She is very thoughtless giving her opinion ,presumably unasked for.

Enjoy your hard worked for fun and freedom and I've no doubt your children would agree with us too.

[Barmaid]

Pointless being the richest person in the graveyard. Enjoy spending YOUR money.

[237SJ]

I don't think she is being completely thoughtless. There is still a school of thought that says that you should provide for your children's future (not in the selfish UK but in other countries) A happy medium can be attained though