Help In English Please

[Fatemah]

Hi everyone! As i have mentioned before that my German Visa was rejected and then I appealed for reconsideration of their decision in the German Embassy and after this, I have not got any response from them. I want to write them an email to follow up about my appeal, I would appreciate it if someone can proofread my email. Thank you in advance.
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Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is ---- and I am a permanent residence to city name with passport number ----. I am writing this email to know the status of my study visa refusal appeal which I submitted on 11th May 2021 at the German embassy. Since then,I have not received any update from the embassy.
I would appreciate it If I could get any update regarding my appeal and also how much time it will take?
Thank you so much for your time and I hope to hear a positive response from you.

Regards.
abc

[ladybirder]

That's near perfect Fatemah. You are so much improved.
I would leave that as it is. They must know it's not your first language.

[jno]

"I am a permanent resident of..."

But if you are giving your passport number, you should probably add what country you are a citizen of, as well as what city you are resident in?

The rest is fine.

[Buenchico]

No real problems.

Change 'residence to' to 'resident in' though.

Change 'know' to 'enquire about'.

The sentence starting "I would appreciate" doesn't scan very well. Something along these lines might be better:
"I would be grateful if you could provide me with an update on the progress of my appeal and, if possible, an indication of when I might receive notification of its outcome. (I am due to commence my on-site studies at the University of Siegen on [date])".

[jourdain2]

Well done, you've really improved.