Single forever???

[hmc]

Hi I dont think there is a category for my question.....How do I go about meeting a man and starting a relationship which isn't pointless? By that I mean sharing more than a bed and one hot meal a day with a man who isn't going to rat out on me or treat me like a surrogate mother. I don't feel like a loser but I feel lonely. I'm worried that my standards are impossibly high and my situation may set me back (single with baby). I look at my friends in relationships or marriages, most of which I wouldn't contemplate for myself and feel as if I will be alone forever because I want a best friend and a lover in one. I'm only 24 (next week) but feel like my romantic life is over unless I'm prepaired to make horrendous compramises. Is there any hope?

P.S.I live in Brighton and have 'before my time' music taste and some old fashioned values. Where do I go, what do I do?

[snapdarlich]

You sound like me! LOL except I'm 27, male and have no kids!

You've 3 years until you're my age...!

I hope dearly that hope isn't lost....

We could date, but I'm in Glasgow! 500 odd miles away. Best of luck - You'll be fine - You'll meet someone perfect for you yet!!!

I'm quite wealthy btw! hee hee!

(not really)

[Eels]

I feel for you - I think a lot of people feel this way until they meet the right person. I used to be the same, then I met my other half. I am still sometimes guilty of making him feel like he can't possibly reach my high standards but in my case that's my flaw, not his, and something we work round.

But there is hope, and you can be happy.

[logman]

I'am glad when sometimes people post questions like this, it helps me to take a look at my own life. You have a great advantage of being still young! I think your best option is to get into the things you find interesting,hobies/passtimes etc and thats where you may find someone with similar tastes. Easier said than done i know but what is in life ?

I hope soon you will be sharing more than just one hot meal a day! Best Wishes

[Scarlett]

Gosh it's like I'm looking in the mirror... Except I am older than you and STILL single. I think there is a lot of truth in the saying, that as soon as you stop looking, someone comes along. You have to meet people too- lots of people. In Brighton you are lucky that there are lots and lots of great, interesting folk. Do you have a female pal you could regularly go out with? Say, once a week, go somewhere different in Brighton. Go to a pub you have never been to, go to the theatre, go bowling, go to the Komedia... anything! And havea drink, and make an effort to chat to nice men that you get a good vibe from. And aim to make new friends, not lovers.

Someone great will come along- just make sure you have lots of fun in the meantime.

[Zidane Juve]

I think there is someone out there for everyone hopefully you wil find that person good luck.

[rachy]

Bot do I know how you feel!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm 34, mum of 2. My husband left me 2 years ago for another woman, he is now married and blissfully happy, whilst i'm left wondering where the hell it all went wrong!!! Its sooooooo hard to find someone, I wish I had some good advice for you, the only thing I can say is don't give up, you are still soooo young. Good Luck

[fatcat]

As good old Whitney sang "I'd rather be alone than unhappy". I'm 34 and a single parent and I've never had a serious relationship but although I'm alone so to speak I don't feel lonely. Maybe I'm some kind of freak but you're far better to hold on than settle for second best.

The other advice is spot on because at least if you broaden your horizons you can find fulfilment without having to rely on a man.

Keep your chin up!

[ICEMANSAV]

It may be that your impossibly high standards are off putting. For example everything you are looking for in a prospective partner may be offput by you being a single mother of a young child. If you want them to give you a chance, you have to strike a happy balance, by giving them a chance also. It is not the ideal to have such double standards, but I do wish you luck and hope you take others advice.

[hmc]

Thanks everybody for your replies! I've decided as a New Years resolution to get out at least once a week. There is no point in me living in Brighton if I'm not going to make the most of it. Keeping my eyes and my mind open is obviously the best place to start. Since I won't settle for an 'average' relationship, I'd better start kissing some frogs (metaphorically)! Thanks for the initative. P.S. Snapdarlich...If you're the kind of wealthy with access to a chooper, I'd definately like a date!