Feel I Am At A Strange Age And Can’t Envisage Much For The Future

[Raidergal2022]

I have just been on a forum on the internet which I signed up to 22 years ago when I was a teenager (not kidding). I am almost 40 now.

I was reading some of my old posts under a different username from 22 years ago and it makes me really sad. I think because time has really flown and if I added 18 years to now pretty much all of my family will have died from old age.

Also life has been quite bland although I have 2 degrees and a good career (which I am leaving now anyway due to anxiety) I haven’t achieved much else. I am still single/no kids I could never decide if I wanted them

If I could go back to being 19 again I think I would have trained harder at a sports I was good at, as I have quite a bit of upper body strength - I’ve always been able to do press-ups and 4 full pull ups with no training people had confidence in me but I suffered with anxiety and didn’t work hard at sport. I am certainly not great in the working world I don’t ah e the best social skills people think I’m quiet (people have said I’m weird other think I have a learning disability)

I’m not quite sure of what direction to take in life I am at a funny age where I am too old to meet someone and start a family or to achieve anything in sport. I am not motivated to nor have a strong enough personality to progress further in my career. In fact I am off with anxiety right now. I have not been on a plane in 20 years, I don’t like flying.

So I’m thinking what is there to do really in the future. Just wanted to offload a bit people have bigger problems I know but reading that old forum got me thinking.

[Canary42]

When I was a kid, a popular song at the time was "I wish I was a little bit younger, and knew what I know now"

It meant nothing at the time, but now I think how true.

But, you know what they say, Hindsight's a wonderful thing.

Hang on in there, nostalgia is always a mixture of sadness and happiness, but the future's a constant challenge so give it your full attention.

P.S. I haven't flown for 38 years, ever since I tried (unsuccessfully fortunately) to get an Air Italia plane to turn back.

[Raidergal2022]

Thanks Canary, was that plane mid flight when you wanted to turn back, it does take courage to fly I think even though most people seem to do it as can’t get my head around it ha

Yea I think it’s exactly that - hindsight would be great to turn back the clock

[Canary42]

///was that plane mid flight when you wanted to turn back ///

About 5 or 10 minutes in. After the co-pilot had a chat with me, I silently drank myself into acceptance of carrying on. Very embarrassing when we left the plane, the flight crew stood by the exit to say goodbye. Never felt so foolish in all my life.

[tobytronic]

If you worry about getting older, by the time a decade has passed, you will wonder just why you spent all that time ten years' earlier worrying about the very same thing and realise you weren't 'old' at all.

'Quiet' people are 'most always the ones that have the most to offer. Really.

From my teens' I always had the firm plan that I was never going to have children. The big plan was I would adopt a couple of kids. By the time I reached 35, I discovered that my partner had been having a long-term affair. We spent the previous 13 years doing literally everything (we had a speciallist car repair business and worked together too) together. It was a sham.
I was destroyed when what I suspected for 18 month turned out to be true.
All of my plans were gone. It turned out to be a good thing. I am now twice the person I was.

You do not need to give birth to start a family. There are 1,000s of kids, needy kids, that want a loving parent to adopt them. County councils are crying out for foster parents, whether single or not.

As an old git, I think that the greatest satisfaction is to be found by looking outwards.
You aren't even close to middle age. Things are so different than was the case thirty years ago. You will so curse yourself in the future for thinking that life was somehow downhill from 'now'.

Think about what you are the very best at. Everyone has something. Consider turning a thing you love into a part-time business enterprise. You cannot lose much if it's only part-time. Join a foodbank club. You will meet nice people. Turn your abilities to be sporty and perhaps join a football club?
Women's football is possibly the biggest thing at the moment. You will meet strong women, like-minded folk who have developed excellent life skills. Decent women, happy to help you.

I do hope you find a way to thrive and be happy. Life is so very short to be wasted being unhappy. Your user name must mean something.
So please you just get out there and GoGal!

[jno]

wise advice from tobytronic. One other thing: the older you get, the faster time goes. Do you have aims beyond sport or family? Writing a book, seeing the world (planes aren't the only way), learning a language or taking up a hobby? Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

[Raidergal2022]

Thanks Tobytronik and Jno

Some great advice and ideas. Adoption is a good idea which I have thought about I will have to see how I situated.

That must have been so hard to pull yourself through being cheated on Id imagine it really messes with your head/makes you feel like you can’t trust anyone. It’s great that you got through and are in a better place

Yes I have thought about women’s football if I am not too old I might try it out

[Old_Geezer]

No, I've not won a Nobel prize either,

I think you need to live mainly in the present moment and do what it is that satisfies you now. Awareness of the future is good to allow you to plan goals, but as you can not know how thing will pan out, concern is just an additional burden you don't need.

Maybe look into relaxation and mind stilling practices to get into a more comfortable frame of mind, and a better attitude and outlook ?