Holidays - Where And With Whom?

[Hazlinny]

It seems quiet on AB today (obviously a lot of pancake making in progress) so I thought it might be a good time to launch a new poetry competition regarding holidays. I would like to know which Aber/s you would invite to go on holiday with you, where you would go and maybe tell us why you chose the person/s. Alternatively, you may like to tell us who you wouldn't want to go on holiday with! This time, there need not be the secrecy and outpouring of love we saw on the Valentine competition - this time (as it's just for fun) you can name the person if you so wish. Ladies you might want to choose a like-minded female, same with men, or you might like to go in a group, e.g. Barsel and me with Sharon and Mr. "C". You may send in as many entries as you wish (for Ken and DTC, the limit is 23). Entries close at 12 noon this Friday and best will be awarded BA - sorry no prizes this time as the Valentine's comp. broke the bank. I hope to see many more entries from the smart cookies on the Quizzes/Crosswords site - last time Mally, the Dingbat Queen, was the only entrant ... L-i-K did look in, dittyless and apologetic, at the very last minute. To encourage you, I am dedicating my first entry to one of your own and it goes like this:
Life-jacket packed I'm leaving today
I'm sailing far away
I'm looking for crew
Could that be you Captain 2?
Life will be a breeze
As we sail the seven seas
We'll play in seventh heaven
Before floating back to Devon.

Ready to go? We're all going on a Summer holiday.

[Prudie]

My poem is short
But still quite a corker
I'd take the Sqads
Away to Menorca

[Sqad]

Prudie a mermaid
and hubby's a fish
So between them
they are such a perfect dish.

To swim with the life
that's around in the sea
is the perfect place
for them both to be.

[DTCwordfan]

DTC screamed
and sprinted to the sea, just off those rocks
flung off his shoes, socks and may be even his jocks
ran towards the heaving Cornish waves
and jumped each massive wave that he found there
with just the same excitement
as being a kiddie bare.

You, that mysterious AB gal stayed back
took your socks and bra off more timidly
giggled at your stupid mother
eventually took his hand
and the two of you jumped together
and you jumped together
three hours later
collapsing on your backs
He and you made lewd angels in the sand
the seaside always made him
want to scream
or orgasm - or a Jelbert's ice-cream
with you, the mysterious AB gal
Down visiting the Cornish Fal.

[Patsy33]

I need a holiday but its hard to choose
Maybe somewhere quiet with beautiful views
Perhaps with someone like -minded, making time for self
Relaxing, doing whatever, for the good of one's health
Drink wine, maybe sing and dance till early morn:
Feeling happy, untroubled as though I'm reborn.

[douglas9401]

I'm heading off on holiday soon
Not really soon, actually June
When we'll be Lanzarote bound unless we're thwarted by the pound
Falling like a leaden weight torpedoing the interest rate
But as the whole things paid (on plastic)
We hope no need for changes drastic
So full ahead for Playa Blanca
With fingers ,no broken bank a.

[douglas9401]

^That should have been 'with fingers crossed'
A school night too, so I'm not possed.

[Hazlinny]

Glad rags are packed, I'm on my way
To board the Orient Express
This is such a special day
I'm meeting little Gness.
She's out on loan from Sunny-Dave
I know he'll tell her to behave
Know that we'll have lots of fun
Must remember not to call her "hun".

[Hopkirk]

I wouldn't want to be mardy,
I'd take Linda Lusardi.

[Atheist]

Dougie! McGonegal's got nothing on you
I've never heard the like since 1792,
Which being the year when holy days were first born
Welcomed in the Sassenachs wi' they're rock, cornets and popcorn.
Which latter being only newly brocht to this land from the Amerigan shores
Was considered extremely attractive by the local hoors.

[1ozzy]

The Red Centre
Is the place to be
Doubt I'd take TTT with me
PSML every day
Too many stops along the way

[Hazlinny]

He should be so lucky
I'm taking him to Kentucky
We'll go for Derby Day
Back on the bay, back on the bay
After that we'll hit the bar
Hear him strum on his new guitar
The rest could be a blank
Depending on how much he's drank.

[Hazlinny]

All quiet on the Western front - where are all you people who revealed your undying love at Valentines? Obviously, the thought of spending a week with one of your colleagues is not too appealing?

My last one:-

I'd like to take him to Singapore
Maybe Morecambe Bay or Baltimore
We could warm up with Voddy in Tullibody
Or go wild and silly in Piccadilly
But I'm taking him to London town
To Wembley to watch the Carabao Cup
Though I know he'll moan and visibly frown
When I tell him they only serve 7-Up.

[gness]

I see I'm being taken
On the Orient Express!
That means that I'll have to
Fish out the best dress.

The food's sure to be good
There'll be plenty to taste.
Perhaps a skirt would be best
With an elasticky waist.

I just hope that Hazliny
Doesn't show me the door
When she finds out how loudly
I chunter and snore. :-(

[choux]

A lady does not sweat nor snore

oh, gness - as you were, before...

;) x

[DTCwordfan]

How wonderful it is not to be touring Provence this summer,
wandering her coastal cities and climbing into her mountain towns.
How much better to cruise our local, familiar streets,
fully grasping the meaning of each pub-board and red road-sign
and all the sudden rantings of my AB companions divine.

Thank God, there are no abbeys here, no awful statues or famous
domes. There’s no need for us to memorise a succession
of French kings or see the dingy catacombs or a mouldy chateau.
No need to linger around a boring sarcophagus, see Napoleon's fate
and little bed on Elba, or view the bones of one of Sandy’s saints.

How much better to command the simple comfort of home
than be dwarfed by ‘pilier, fenetre ou grotty basilique'.
Why hide our heads in crumbly phrase books and dodgy maps?
Why become a one-eyed commando tourist camera
that wants to eat one more monument or panorama?

Instead of slouching in a café ignorant of the word for ‘wine',
I will head down to the local caff and an AB waitress
probably called Dot. I will slide into the flow of the morning
paper, TTT’s rantings and Gully’s communism afray
rivers of idiom running freely, Minty’s bacon baps are on the way.

And after 'me brekkie', I will not have to find an ABer
willing to photograph me with my arm around the owner.
I will not puzzle over the bill or record in my diary
what I ate and how the rain came barrelling through the window.
It is just enough to climb back into the rusty Scorpio.

As if it were a British car, right-hand side drive itself
and sounding my loud French horn, speed off
down a road that will never lead to Paris,
not even Lyons or even down to Toulouse
Welcome ABers on the bus to Lancs and rainy Blackpool.

[gness]

Choux says that a lady
Neither sweats nor snores.
Has she never heard
Of the menopause?

Grumpy moods
And a red hot flush.
Where once was a brain
Now only dwells mush.

But I'll be fine
Neither grumpy nor hot.
As cheeky Choux says
A lady I'm not. ;-)

[Ken4155]

I've only just come across this thread.
And i'm racking those brains inside my head
To conjure up a suitable rhyme.
As to make sure i'm not wasting your time.
So please, never let it be said
That i'm a time waster, give me some cred.
My destination would have to be
Longchamp Racecourse in Gay Paris.
A place i've always wanted to go.
And my 'holiday friend' would have to be Togo.
A kindred spirit who likes a punt
Just for the fun, just for the hunt.
Some time in September to witness the 'Arc'
Use our winnings to have a good lark?
But win or lose, we'd have a great time.
And that's almost the end of my little rhyme.
Because it's time i began to prepare my tea
(Yeah, i know it's dinner for some, but not for me)
No airs and graces in this little town
Whose most famous fan will soon wear the crown.
So, Togo, my friend, what do you say?
A trip to France once Cheltenham's out the way.
No need to reply now, but do remember,
I'll be asking again, nearer September.

[Patsy33]

To be honest, I don't care where I go
Grimsby, Isle of Man or Mexico
A nice beach, where I can let it all hang out
A secluded one where nobody's about
Should anyone see me they might stop and stare
Who can blame them when they see me bare
You see in my mind I'm only a size eight
I'm on my holiday, reality can wait

[sunny-dave]

There’s a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
That’s noted for fresh-air and fun,
And Gness and SD, the biker,
Went there for some sun on their buns

They didn’t think much to the ocean:
The waves, they was fiddlin’ and small
At least they saw gulliver drownded
Which were better than nothing at all.

[gness]

Dave, you and I have never been to Blackpool together....so who.....?