right to see his kids

[lisajane666]

my partner was married for 18 years, he has been seperated for 18 months. his ex keeps using the kids as weapons, everytime she gets the hump she wont let him talk to or see them. this kills him, and then when she wants something she keeps on rining him and then says he can see the kids!! whats the law on this????

[southerngirl]

As far as I know, if he is paying maintenance, he has every right to see his children. It sounds like there is no court ruling in your partner's case and if I was him I would take this to court to formalise access rights and times. My ex had a partner who did exactly the same thing. Although it hurt him the first few times, I persuaded him to say he couldn't have the kids when she wanted to go out etc. After two times she realised that her tactics wouldn't work and access wasn't a problem after that. Good luck to your partner.

[dylenzibub]

I can absolutely confirm that the law would be on your partner's side. This evil woman, who thinks she can use her children like some kind of carrot to be dangled whenever money or babysitting is in site, will also get a massive shock when her kids realise her ex is not the evil man she painted him to be and they hate her instead!!

Please, have your partner take this woman to court, and persue it all the way, for the children's sake - I speak from great experience!!

[kazzianne]

we are going thru exactly the same thing - my b/f's ex has moved again for the 3rd time in 3 months and wont give her address!! But still wants us to have child so she can have a break.This wk she waoted till 20 mins before i was due 2 collect his child then got her solicitor to call saig we couldnt get her.My b/f is at the end of his tether.

[lisajane666]

wt annoys me the most, is ok he doesnt pay maintenance but pays every bill in the house as if he still lives there that totals �1600, and she cries she has no money and he buys the kids what ever when ever they need it. then when she wants to go out she get the kids to ask for money and takes it!!!

[kazzianne]

god thats an awful lot of money!! Why havent they sorted out everything legally yet?

[lisajane666]

sha keeps treatening him with the kids, at the moment she wont let him see them and says every time that she is getting a solicitor, nothing happens. then when she wants to go out she rings. he wants what is best for the kids so he pays the morgage and the house bills, but it is never enough!! he is scared of her and is trying to protect me as she keeps saying she is either gonna kill his daughter or have him!!

dont know what to do, he is so scared of losing his kids to that mad woman!!

need help!!

[Nummy]

you need to start keeping a log of everytime there's contact from her, what she says and what she does...including keeping any message she may leave on your answer machine.

if she's really as bad as you say you will need all the ammunition possible when it goes legal, cos it sounds like not only will she not fight fair, she'll go out of her way to be venomous.

just remember never go down to her level...kids aren't stupid and will see what's happening, and in the long run, i think she's going to be a very lonely lady.

good luck

[huge piles]

anyone who uses their child/children as a tool like this is causing untold damage to the wee ones, and subsequently show be shot... this however is not legal, so your best bet is legal...

i sympathise with your circumstances...

[lisajane666]

UPDATE

well he has finally done it, we saw a solicitor after another bout of abusive text messages and her yet again not letting him speak to or see his kids. She is in for a very big shock, cant wait for the letter to drop on her mat asking for a divorce, the only problem is, she is probably going to kill us, but its worth it, the thought of her face!! to think that her so called spinless husband has just got a back bone!!!!

will update you soon if im alive!!