Thanks for that. We love Majorca but not little Britain. I hope you are not put off of Majorca because of that. We go to Porto Andratx in the south east part of the island. There is only about 2 hotels. Many German and Swedes. It is a yachting port so no big hotels but many boats. The beach is tiny, everyone is friendly even the English. No yobs. We've been about 9 times now and still love it. if you are lucky you will see Claudia Schiffer walking along the street as she has a place there. Not much to do except lounge during the day and people watch at night.
We have also been to Alcudia. DO NOT got to Jupiter unless you want the council house estate. I use trip advisor every time I go somewhere different as its people like you and me who report on the holidays and hotels. I'm not sure of the English holiday review sites but I'm sure you can google the hotel names and get real reports.
Good luck and enjoy your next holiday