Am I just being paranoid for no reason??!! (part 1)

[seaborn]

Ok, so here's the thing.

I've been with this absolutely amazing girl since August. We've known each other for about 3 years now, but have only seen each other with groups of friends around. Finally in August we got together just the 2 of us and it's been totally amazing ever since. In fact since then, the longest we've been apart from each other is 2 days (which is no mean feat considering we live 40miles apart).
Last Wednesday I took her to the airport, because she was going to Australia to visit friends for 3 weeks (role on the 20th!!)

Now, I've always thought of her as "the one", except for one thing - she is a very big flirt!!
We spoke about this and were very open with each other about our feelings for each other before she went. Both of us want each other (there is no doubt about that), and want the little family that we have recently come to be and love (we both have a dog each and they get on great together) and have talked about moving in together in the New Year.

She has been gone nearly a week now, and we have texted each other nearly every day. And the stuff I'm getting from her is great (almost too great and too good to be true) about her feelings for me, how she wishes she was in my arms, how she wants us, and wishes I was with her to share the experiences of Ayres Rock etc etc.

So all seems to be going great � except my mind is going around in circles about this flirting thing!!

So last night I went to the pub with a group of friends, and of course everybody's asking how I'm doing etc. So I say: "everything is great, almost too good, but I'm worried".
And then my mates, being my mates � out come the horror stories of who she has kissed in the past when she's been dating someone else, or how she was once filmed doing XY&Z to a guy when she was younger, and � the big one � how she has dated 4 guys from Australia in her past!!!

[seaborn]

The friends of the group who are women and know her pretty well, say that her texts are genuine and that she is totally wrapped up in me etc etc.
Also now that she is just about to turn 28 she has grown out of all that, and what she really wants now is to settle down, and by the looks of it with me.
Also they say that I�m only this worried because I want her and us so badly.

But obviously, my mind is now racing!!
I�m 30, been in 2 serious relationships in the past � and both ended up cheating on me.
This is the girl I want for life, and I really don�t want to lose her. I also do trust her, her feelings and what she is saying. So am I just being paranoid for no reason??!!
If so, what should I do about it??!! (Other than get new friends!!)

(Also the time difference really doesn�t help things!!)

I used to do a lot of travelling around the globe with my job and then lads holidays. Ex girlfriends used to say that I was harder for the person left behind to get on with normal life, than it was for the one who is away or on holiday. I never used to believe it.
- May I now take this opportunity to apologise to all my ex-girlfriends; I never thought I�d here myself say this but they were right � it is harder being the one at home!!

[sinnerman]

Seaborn,

I can understand and sympathise where you�re coming from, esp. if you have been spending so much time together since you first met and before she went away.
Don�t listen to the lads in your group, listen to the girls. 1: Because they�re more likely to know her and her feelings better 2: Because lads will be lads.

Take some advice, go to the airport on the 20th with a big bunch of flowers and welcome her home with open arms, she�ll soon realise that being home with you for your first Christmas together is what�s wanted and needed by her.

You might also want to ease up on the texts while she is away 1: This is holiday of a life time for her, leave her to enjoy it 2: Let her worry a little at her end, she might be getting equally as paranoid about leaving you back home.

Absence does make the heart grow stronger � it does not make it forget.
Enjoy this time apart, by the sounds of things you two are going to be together for a very long time to come.
She sounds like a great girl � wish I could find one just as great!

(My god, I should be a marriage advice councillor � not bad for a bloke eh?!)

Good luck with it all � I�m sure all will be fine.

[teag1rl]

Yep, agree with all the above. Give the girl a break. I got plenty skeletons in my cupboard but we all grow up!! Hope it all works out really well for you both x

[PinkFizz]

I totally feel for you ,I really do,but I think that the past is the past and she may well have done everything your mates said,but like you,has now found her soulmate(you!) and is blissfully happy! I can't believe she would text you all that stuff unless she truly meant it.And as for the flirting,well a lotof people do that as long as it doesn't bother you there is no harm done.

So I would say you are worrying unnecessarily and everything will be just fine.xx

[4getmenot]

I guess I�m in the girls shoes at the moment, and I�d say please try and lay off her or it will push her away. I text my bloke all the time to say how much I care but because most of my friends are blokes and I end up with everyone round mine after the pub, he really doesn�t like it, so much so he climbed through my bedroom window the other week and listened from my bedroom as I played trivia pursuit with my mates. This girl just seems like genuinely friendly girl, don�t make it into something it isn�t as it seems to me you�ve got a good thing there. :-)

[bloaterbum]

how old are you ?For goodness sake give the kid a break and enjoy life .Fate will sort it out and while you are waiting enjoy each other and don't analyse everything

[chicklin]

Flirting is nothing to worry about - she's said it's you she wants, so remember that and enjoy every moment of your time together. Don't waste time worrying about what might happen, your time is too precious. People flirt because they are insecure and they have a need to know they are attractive - but that doesn't mean they want anything to come of it. It's just a bit of an ego boost. Ignore whatever is said about what supposedly happened before you even got together - how can that have any relevance on your relationship with your girlfriend now? That was the past, its over and done with. Finished. You now both have the future together so just go with the flow, love and respect each other and you won't go far wrong. Good Luck!