Is it best to be honest or tell white lies in a relationship

asks Ursula:
A. Good question. Everybody wants their partner to be honest with them, but do we really want to know the truth Reader's Digest carried out a MORI poll on honesty in marriage in the UK, and came up with some interesting results.

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Q. Such as..
A. 42% of those questioned deliberately withheld information from their partner.

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Q. What about
A. Money is one of the biggies. One in five people who have been married for 20 years or more doesn't even know how much their partner earns. And 32% of women and 24% of men don't tell their partner how much they pay for things.

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Q. Why is money such an issue
A. In a relationship money equals power. And most marital arguments are over money.

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Q. What else don't people talk about
A. Surprisingly, their secret dreams and aspirations - almost one person in five won't tell their partner about their life's ambition.

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Q. Why
A. It could be seen as a sign they weren't happy with the ways things are.

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Q. What sort of secret ambitions are we talking about
A. A longing to travel is something 42% kept quiet about. 18% would like to travel alone, something that might not go down so well with their partner. Just getting away is a common theme - 26% would secretly like to move to another location, and an amazing one in eight would like to live alone for a while.

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Q. Why
A. It seems as if the notorious seven-year-itch is based on truth. Almost a third of people who have been married between six and nine years confessed that they've wished they could wake up one morning and not be married any more! It should be remembered, perhaps, that Prince Charles and Princess Diana separated after nine years.

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Q. Why don't they discuss their marriage with their spouse
A. Women do tend to do most of the talking (Diana seems to have been frankest on TV, in 1995),�but men can be pretty chatty, too.��Reader's Digest�found that most (59%) aren't afraid to talk about the state of their marriage. Men would like to talk to their wives more - they just don't know how. A lot of men (44% of those under 45) would like to tell their wives that they want to have more fun, almost as many want to say that they'd like to spend more time with their wives.

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Q. So what's the problem
A. Children come along (83% of those married for six to nine years have children), and more women work, so there's little time left for each other.

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And men feel that they can't ask for affection - even though 20% would like to tell their wives that they'd like some.

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Q. Despite everything, aren't they glad they got married
A. No, 27% said that, now they knew what it was like, they wouldn't consider getting married again!

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Do you think honesty is the best policy in marriage Post your opinion here

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By Sheena Miller

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