Offer Of Gifts

[Chasingcars]

My mum has kindly offered to buy us a lovely light we liked for our new house as an early Christmas present, saying she would rather get us something we want, and would make use of. She mentioned she would give me the money when it arrived so let her know when.
So I ordered said light, and a few times I have mentioned it, and the fact my electrician has been booked to fit it, but she hasn't mentioned the money. I don't like asking - any ideas? She has done this a couple of times before, with different things and not so recently, but puts me in an awkward position.
Last time I had ordered some new cot bed sheets for my little girl and after having them delivered, I chose one set I really liked and had planned to send the others back as it was too expensive for them all. She offered to pay for one set, so I kept it but again she never mentioned the money again. Had I known I wouldn't have kept them all!
Any advise welcome, thankyou.

[Mamyalynne]

Very difficult, only two choices really - straight out ask 'Mum I've bought that light you are getting us for Christmas, it's £X'.

Second choice,forget it and never do it this way again.

Is she having memory difficulties generally?

[Chasingcars]

Yes I had thoughts about just asking her straight but I was always taught never to ask for money! Silly I know.
Come to mention it she has been a bit forgetful of late but not sure its that in this instance. She is usually pretty on the ball with money as in if I ever owe her money, even a small amount she remembers the exact amount to nearest £0.01. For example my little girl does ballet, mum offered to knit a cardigan and around the same time mum picked up some plants for my garden. I was about to give her the £40 I owed and she then said I owed her extra £2.78 for wool for the cardi!! I assumed that when she offered to knit it was a gift, and I didn't expect an invoice! But like you say I know for next time.

[Psybbo]

Sounds like 'control' and I'm very familiar with that. I will not accept money from my mother!

[Mamyalynne]

Well then , lesson learned - don't do it again. Harsh I know.

[Old_Geezer]

So, you've been taught not to ask for money (even when owed) but your mother can ask for the wool money (that wasn't agreed on). Sounds to me like the same rules should apply to both. Take Mamy's advice.

[888]

Simply suggest the cash is needed first in order to make a purchase, as is usually the case.

[Barmaid]

SUck it up, and never take her word again.

[Peter Pedant]

// So I ordered said light, and a few times I have mentioned it, //

if you have tried already - " I have ordered the lovely light and it was £x " and nothing happened ( ie the heavens didnt open and gold coins shower onto you ) then I think you are scrowed

but really from your post - you have been 'trained' by experience and didnt really expect it did you ?

I have in laws whose in laws are like that ( extended fambly )
and when someone says Oh! X and Y will chip in a hundred quid
I usually comment no they wont

Perhaps when she nakes the offer
she really does just want to go thro a catalogue with you cooing at this and that
closing it - thinking that is that for a few weeks
and going homw for a cup of tea.....

[Peter Pedant]

Hi Barmaid
off thread
but mwah mwah mwah !
and hope you got your ipad contents back

you have been missed Girl !

[ more slobbery kisses ]