This Is A Serious Question........

[peachybabe]

..........which could be removed.

I would like to understand why some men choose to be drag queens but are not transgender.

No offensive replies please. As I said, it's a serious question but there is no lifestyle section to put it in.

[jim360]

Well thanks both for asking! I don't have an answer at the moment, though.

[EDDIE51]

Genderqueer even has it's own flag , it is called the Genderqueer Pride Flag
http://flaglog.com/post/54172205752/genderqueer-since-2011-the-genderqueer-and
They would not thank you for calling the term derogatory!

[EDDIE51]

^^ which is not to be confused with the Genderfluidity Pride Flag
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Genderfluidity_Pride_Flag.png

[EDDIE51]

Then neither of the above should be confused with the 'Bigender Pride Flag'
http://pride-flags.deviantart.com/art/Bigender-Pride-Flag-1-543925382
It's just not good enough to just be 'Gay Lesbian or Transgender' now you have to have your own little sub group.

[EDDIE51]

In fact there are over 840 various sub groups of gender pride flags!
http://pride-flags.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=816

[woofgang]

why do we care what other people want to call themselves?

[Dahlia_Lama]

Well I personally think when someone has personal experience to share with us we shouldn't jump in with stereotypical names and thoughts, I think we should ask jim and maybe , just maybe him opening up along with our understanding may just help him and also educate us. I personally am intrigued.

[jim360]

Yes, it's complicated isn't it?

It may just be a relatively short-term thing. Rather like what happened to sexuality in the 1960s onwards, people have started to feel one heck of a lot freer to explore their gender identity. As a result there's something of an explosion of different ways to identify yourself. All of them essentially amount to the same sort of thing, though -- a way of pushing the boundaries of typical social gender norms, or even rejecting them altogether.

It does make for a confusing picture for anyone from outside, but it's not necessarily anything to worry about really. Just respect people's choices in how they identify and express themselves, and be sure to separate personality from identity. (Some people are, after all, just nasty, spiteful, short-tempered and rude -- and that's true of the trans spectrum as much as it is anywhere else!)

* * *

To expand just a little on my previous post, I don't really know what I identify as yet. Ask me again this time next year -- as can be seen, I've been a little bit more open about it (and not just on AB, either, although not that many of my friends or family know yet), which will hopefully give me a chance to explore this side of me more freely. Once I've started to do that, I have no idea where it will -- or, equally, won't -- go.

[jim360]

For the sake of clarity, the short-term "thing" is the currently large number of different labels people apply to themselves when it comes to gender. I may be wrong in suggesting it to be short-term, but I suspect it's a reaction to the freedom and once that's no longer such a radical thing, we'll end up with a situation where people are no longer genderqueer or bigender or nonbinary or trans* or what have you, or even make or female but just... well, themselves.

[Dahlia_Lama]

That was very insightful jim.
Looks like you are caught between a rock and a hard place....personally I think you're transvestite but if you feel you can live forever as a woman then i'm wrong.
I wouldn't tell too many people at the moment, I think you're transvestite and only in the fullness of time will you find the confidence to go out as your alter ego. I think it's too early for you yet, not for any reason other than you have to feel very comfortable and confident yourself and to be perfectly honest i'm not sure it's a necessity to go out in public.I can't see what you would gain. I have 2 transvestite friends and they are comfortable in the company of friends but wouldn't for any reason feel the need to go out in public.They're happy to be accepted in the company of friends without anyone batting an eyelid. Be happy jim.

[jim360]

You're probably right about being "just" a transvestite. It'll be easier to tell once it no longer feels like such a burning secret, I figure.

[Dahlia_Lama]

jim...I didn't ever say 'just' a transvestite. I'm not insensitive however I will give you advice and support , you can read it or not.
I think you're halfway there given you have an alter ego. It depends on you and you alone whether you go 'public' with your persona. My advice, again, would be to wait and let your friends become familiar with it first.People can be cruel.Sometimes guys only alter ego in a sexual relationship they've become comfortable.with. Anyway. don't be a stranger on here, I think you've been very brave and I think people on here will help you with any transition you wish to make.

[jim360]

Thanks Dahlia :)

Language here is so annoyingly vague and imprecise and I probably get it wrong myself a few times! Anyway the point is that I wasn't bothered by your first post (or your second one) -- and yeah, transvestism isn't really a "just", but it is in some sense "not as far along" the trans* spectrum. Hopefully I will be able to find out sooner rather than later whereabouts along that spectrum I belong.

[Dahlia_Lama]

You look gorgeous anyway jim....you're halfway there and please please let us help you with your transition in whatever way you choose, i'm sure we'll be excellent sounding boards. Mainly, don't worry, it's not as big a deal as you think x
I'm new to here but i'm certainly not new to forums so I can try my hardest to help you and support you.

[jim360]

Aww thanks :) Good night all