Reconnection With Father

[Xeronema]

Like always I put topics in here that should be else where.

I'm looking to try and reconnect with my father who made no attempt to keep in contact when I walked out at the age of 12. I'm thinking about writing a letter, I just don't know what to put in it.

Any suggestions?

[Xeronema]

Thank you Tilly

jno: I don't know what I want. I'm just going to give him yet another chance. He's had plenty, however I've never constructed a letter before. My mobile number hasn't changed since I was 11 years old and I'm now 30.

[Samuraisan]

You are heading for more heartbrake. I would leave well alone and concentrate on whoever is important in your life now

[Xeronema]

I'm not heading for heartbreak at all. The man is out of my life, if I get no reply then no loss. If he says he doesn't want to talk to me then, no loss. I was the one who walked out as a child so I made my decision then, and it hasn't changed. However, giving someone another chance is something I'm always willing to do.

[ummmm]

It's worth a shot.

Is he still in a relationship?

[Peter Pedant]

make it short and sweet - Tilly's is good
suggest a first meeting on neutral ground - cafe or somewhere

There is counslling available for those doing this
but I am not sure how to access it

counselling would be to prepare for possible disappointment

[Xeronema]

Cheers PP,

I don't need counseling, nor do I intend to meet him. He'd have to come here and no one on here apart from Ummmmm knows my new location. I intend to keep it that way. He can forward any post to Dinnington. The post will be send via Sheffield so he won't know where I am. I just want to see if he is going to maintain the same stance he has since I walked away as a child.

[Xeronema]

Ummmm I think he's still married yeah. Maybe it's her that's stopping it, I somewhat doubt that though. He's raised her kids.... Not interested in his own children.

[ummmm]

It's strange. You'd think a man willing to bring up someone else's kids would make more of an effort with his own.

My dads partner had kids. He loved them, as do I, but no one would be above his own kids. It must be heartbreaking, Diz.

[Xeronema]

Not really Ummmm. I've had a good 18 or so years to get over it. I just want to give him another chance. I can take it or leave it.

[ummmm]

You've got the right attitude.

The boys dad is a waste of space. He's continually let them down. Sometimes Owen wants to see him but it's more morbid curiosity than anything else.

[Xeronema]

Owen and I share a lot in common. I've now been diagnosed with autism/aspergers. So our morbid curiosity is also the same.

[ummmm]

When did that happen? I can't say I'm surprised.

He's on a healthy eating plan at the moment. It's going to cost a fortune!