What counts as domestic abuse

[doglady]

Just doing a quick straw poll. Do the following count as domestic abuse: All during arguements.

Pushing

Throwing stuff

General threatening behaviour.

Thanks everyone!!

[dot.hawkes]

they are possibly assault, certainly pushing is if it was done aggressively, throwing something at someone is a vague thing, if it was a knife or a heavy object yes, if it was a teatowel or a pillow or something no, I think, this isn't straight forward at all.

[dot.hawkes]

check this out;

http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/

[peterd]

What stuff is being thrown & is it being thrown at a person ? Depends on the context of the thretening behaviour.Pushing - maybe classed as assault in an extreme case. All sounds a bit moody though

[dot.hawkes]

Crikey I just read that and I was in an abusive relationship for 17 years!!!!!!!!! No wonder I was miserable all the time and depressed, what an eye opener! I have spent the last 10 years feeling guilty for getting rid of him, wjhat a waste.

[flipflop104]

I think any or all of the things you describe above IMO would not be classed as domestic abuse if they happened as a one-off or it happened once in a blue moon in a very heated argument

If they were happening on a regular basis, I would say that they are a step away from domestic abuse. Although "general threatening behaviour" is, well, rather general. But out of all three options you have given, I would say that this is the nearest, if not IS, the most likely one to be considered domestic abuse IMO.

My gf and I have never done any of the above but if it happened once in a very heated argument I would not consider myself a victim of domestic abuse. If it started happening regularly, I'm not sure I would still even consider myself a victim of domestic abuse either because I can stand up for myself and she wouldn't be doing it to me in a "bullying" kind of way, ie. if she pushed me I'd push her back rather than cower in fear. I suppose in that instance a lot has to do with how the perosn who's on the receiving end of it perceives it.

When you saying throwing things, do you mean at each other with intention to harm or just in anger in no particular direction (even if someone got hurt)?

I dunno really, it's a difficult one....

[Ethel]

Anthing that makes you fearful, anxious and delibrately unhappy is abuse in my opinion.

There is a huge difference between abuse that is unacceptable and abuse that is criminal.

Neither should be tolerated.

[devilwoman]

pushing no

throwing stuff can hurt you

threats can be frightening depending what is said, threatening to kill for instance has to be taken seriously

these things in themselves cant really be classed as abuse but as soon as husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends hit you thats the time to get rid no second chances.

[Aprilis]

Well said ethel, I wholeheartedly agree.

[Octavius]

It really depends on a whole set of circumstances such as extent, level, frequency etc. But generally:

Physical violence: punching; slapping; hitting; biting; pinching; kicking; pulling hair out; pushing; shoving; burning; strangling. Destructive criticism and verbal abuse: shouting/mocking/accusing/name calling/verbally threatening.

Threats: making angry gestures; using physical size to intimidate; shouting you down; destroying your possessions; breaking things; punching walls; wielding a knife or a gun; threatening to kill or harm you and the children.

The Government defines domestic violence as "Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality."

So, in respect of your question, I would say that in the context of what I have said, they can all constitute domestic violence if the actions form a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour and the recipient (victim) feels that they are in very real danger from harm.

[lilyfrog]

all domestic abuse in my book.

[doglady]

Thanks everyone. That website was really helpful.

xxx