Magic numbers

[Morrisonker]

Is it ever a good idea to ask your partner how many people they've been with? Even if you're in a secure relationship could you get over finding out that your lover had been with many more people than you? And if you'd slept with a lot of people (whatever 'a lot' mean to you, it's all relative I suppose), would you be totally honest with your partner you suspected they'd be upset?

[inej]

Hi Morrisonker, I wa straight with my boyfriend from the start but then when he found out i had cheated on the other guys i was that was what caused more of the insecurities at first.

[johnlambert]

It's none of your business, how many sexual partners your current partner has had, why would you want to know?.

the act of sex (or making love) is a private thing to be enjoyed between 2 people, it shouldnt be used as a topic for conversation

[kazzianne]

No.I have never asked my b/f,or any previous b/f and I wouldn't want to know.Its none of my business and the amount of partners I have had is none of his.All that matters is that you are faithful to each other.Previous details spoil things and play havoc with the imagination.

[whiskeysheri]

I know my boyfriend's 'magic number', but wish I didn't. If I was ever in another relationship I'd not ask, there's no need to know. x

[Morrisonker]

By the way, I'm not looking for advice. I'm with Kazzianne on this one, I'd rather not know because I know that whatever he said I would get a bit upset/insecure, thats just the way I am. This is just a poll I'm asking my friends as well.

[peterd]

what you don't know doesn't hurt you ;)

[unruliejulie]

agree with peterd, when i was younger i used to ask loads of questions about such things and then when i was told the answers, it hurt. Best not knowing, whats to gain from it?

[caz21]

I knew with previous boyfriends but i was younger then and the magic number was small and inoffensive, My current fella doesn't know mine and i don't know his and its going to stay that way! i personally think its more of a younger person thing to want to know the answer anyway!

[Loosehead]

I agree with some of the above. In my younger days it seemed important but now I don't know and don't want to know, I don't even know my own "magic number" so I'd be in the sh1t if my gf asked me now! I'd have to try and make one up that wasn't too bad, I mean you can't say, I've lost count can you?

[Champagne]

I don't think it's a problem to ask so long as you're not phased by it. Of course, it does leave you open to being asked yourself and then the worst scenario is you having triple the number as your partner!!! Not that I'd know about that of course... :o\

I've been perfectly honest with my fella and we've laughed about it. Sometimes during these 'open' conversations he gets very defensive until he realises that I just don't give a damn and that I'm actually winding him up! hahahaha!

[Le Chat]

Only ask if you really want to know! There's nothing that can be done about the past but some people still let that eat them up! My husband knows how many I have had and I know his total. It is just another point about each other that we feel we needed to know, like all the other things! Needless to say my total is bigger than his, which is only 2! That delights me though, as he is practically a virgin!! If it had of been 102, it would have made no difference to me!

[Goodsoulette]

I always lie. Most guys I have been with always assume I have slept with more women let alone guys than they have had partners. To be honest this is probably true too. I always say 30ish. 20 seems to be the average for the guys I have been with.

[/Dracula\]

My magic number is 5,975

Im hoping to make the big 6k by the end of the week

[Goodsoulette]

are we talking posts dracula???

[flipflop104]

My gf and I know each others and we regularly talk about it and the love lifes we had with our previous partners - it doesn't phase either of us and we have a chuckle over some of the daft stuff we've done in the past.

That is the operative word here - PAST. It's in the past and your partner is with you cos they love you, not their exes or what their exes did for them.

It's the here and now that counts. For us anyway.