Dealing With Bullies.

[dieseldick]

called to see my 7 year old daughter last night and she came out of house, i could tell something was wrong right away, asked " are you ok love " she burst into tears, " no daddy i feel sad today " apparently she had been being bullied all day and i was surprised to hear that her closest best friend had taken part and and older girl smashed a rotten runny egg over her head. the area is called benefit street , lots of scum in there but it is brand new housing development in a mixed area of belfast , children run wild and i have had many problems with neighbours since my ex wife moved in there, i am now getting her moved out.

anyway, my child stayed with me last night , i have told her this morning , do not let anyone ever bully you, hit back , tell you best friends mum today what she did and refuse to play with her untill she calls for you and apologised, if any other bigger older kids hit her she must lift a stick and hit them !! do not lie down and back off and take it.

is this wrong ?

i was brought up with my dad trailing me out of the house onto the green to fight and stand up for myself .

best way to teach my daughter. i will not see her bullied like this ever again !

[Tilly2]

Are schools back in Belfast?

[hc4361]

No,Tilly

[TTG]

If anyone tried to bully my brothers or myself at school we always fought back...and won. Don't get me wrong, we were quite easy going (still are) but if that line was crossed, we always let the bully know that we won't be pushed around. A few self-defence lessons would not go amiss and it's a good way of keeping fit. Teachers won't do much to stop it nowdays and it could be a further sign of weakness if they have to get involved. Hope it's sorted soon.

[hc4361]

This isn't happening at school

[Tilly2]

This is a 7 year old, out playing all day, in an area where 'children run wild'.

[hc4361]

Could be some sort of holiday club

[B00]

Which begs the question why her mother is allowing her child to play out all day amongst children who are bullying her?

Anyhoo, no, im not of the mind that it's ok to advocate DD's daughter fights back. It sends a false message that aggression is always the answer- and it isn't.

I would suggest that the girls mum speaks to the bullies parents, if that's not possible. At the very least I wouldn't allow my child to play out anymore until it's resolved.

[ummmm]

Gosh...I really don't know what I'd do.

[B00]

Gotta admit ummmm, yeah its a toughie as your initial reaction would be to string the little 'darlings' up by their toes to the nearest lampost innit?

[Ken4155]

Boo @ 10;34. "It sends a false message that aggression is always the answer, and it isn't". No, Boo, imho it sends a message that you are not afraid to stand up to these people. You get a rep as a wimp when you're a kid and it will be very hard to shake off as you mature. It may even encourage others to bully you in the workplace or, even worse, at home.
"At the very least, i wouldn't allow my child to play out anymore until it's resolved." How would that work, then? How would you know that the matter is resolved? And isn't confining your child to barracks a punishment? Just thinking out loud.

[dieseldick]

not holiday club its a bloddy street full of scumbags and drug dealers, although it was just built 3 years ago.

i cant go near parents, i was near getting arrested last time and if im involved things escalte to the extreme ! i know from dealing with these scumbag parents before .

[david small]

DD, I feel for you living so close to the morons. I taught my kids how to fight.
Amazing how a punch in the face persuades bullying. Your little girl needs to learn self defence, bless her. The language of the street is a good right hook.

[hc4361]

The sooner your family move the better. Aren't her brothers and big sister looking out for her?

[AlwaysConfused]

I was rather small when I was at school. I was bullied by older children. I tried everything reasonable - talk to the teacher, headmaster, told my mum who in turn spoke to the parents. In the end, I learnt to hit back. I doubt it physically hurt them, but the shock element that I was prepared to stand up for myself forced the bullies to stop.

[Tilly2]

My defence was a couple of well aimed stones. From a distance.

......and I was a fast runner.

Seriously, if it's that bad, get her onto a self defence course of some kind. One which will teach her the option of deflecting rather than attacking.

[EDDIE51]

I was bullied by a boy who used to stop me on the way to school and take any sweets I had and eat them in front of me. I got two bars of ExLax chocolate and wrapped them in a Cadbury wrapper. The next day he stopped me as usual and demanded my sweets. I pleaded with him not to take them saying I only had some chocolate to last all week, he took no notice as I well knew he would. He grabbed the 'Cadbury ExLax' and ate the lot in front of me. Later in class he stood up and complained of stomach ache , he just managed to make it to the front of the class before he sh*** himself . The entire class laughed out loud as a it ran down his legs ( only short trousers allowed in those days)
He never bullied anyone again! The other kids laughed at him for weeks afterwards and he was known as 'Sh***y Dave'

[Tilly2]

I was never bullied by anyone.

Maybe I didn't mix with those who were bullies. However, my friends and I were in a gang, against another gang. That's where the stone throwing and running skills came to the fore. :-)

I knocked a boy out with a house brick, once...............:-(

[paddywak]

Years ago I was bullied at school by a group of half a dozen lads,this went on for several weeks till the ring leader made the mistake of trying it on when he was alone. I gave him a right good thumping and finished of by telling him that if I had any trouble from anybody it was him I'd come looking for.I don't know if it was the threat or the effect of the two black eyes but I never had any problems again and I acquired a rep as somebody who was not to be messed with that has lasted a lifetime.