Which Is The Most Slipperiest Edible Oil?

[Fatjoe]

Weird question i know but i'm doing an egg eating competition and a sausage eating competition soon afterwards so am looking for the best throat lubricant so need a scientific edge. A few in the eating competition game swear by olive oil to help them win eating competitions but is olive oil the most slipperiest? Someone told me that soy bean oil would be more slippery due to micro granules at the cellular level but i have no idea whether this is true or even what it means to be honest. So which oil would you recommend me to use?

[boxtops]

Fatjoe, why would you want to do this? Not good for your insides, and a dreadful waste of food.....

[DTCwordfan]

15W50 Shell Helix Ultra, nice tasting and very fine film that allows for goo slippage, I am told.

[DTCwordfan]

good slippage though 'goo slippage' may be more apropos.

[frugalfred]

Don't worry about the double superlative "most sliipperiest" fatjoe. Will Shakespeare wrote, in "Julius Caesar", - "This was the most unkindest cut of all." So you are in good company.

[dizmouk2009]

DTCwordfan: I totally agree but I do believe that Triple QX 15W40 would be idea for the interlude or you could mix the SH Ultra 15W50 with the QX 15W40.

[Tilly2]

You know it's not correct though, fred.

[Henrytom]

Only when you throw up, as I fear you will, will you know the difference !

[askyourgran]

Wel if it's all right with Jenson Button I suppose it will go down well with FJ.

[joggerjayne]

Fatjoe, like Shakespeare, had no doubt sat there for ages, trying to scan his pentameter, before thinking (as Shakespeare did) ... oh, sod it.

[andres]

YUK! You are crackers

[DTCwordfan]

Thanks diz, they say Castrol works well and I am sure a combination would ensure success, except for Chorizo as the only Portugese lubricant is seaweed oil. A SM/DT would work well (simply masticated/down throat) and a polymer based lubricant for summer or winter would be recommended. Suggest that fatjoe does an ILSAC and JSC test .

[Henrytom]

'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day' JJ (Sorry I messed it up with your initials) !

[joggerjayne]

Thank you, Henry.

Oh, hey ... Fatjoe's question title is quite a good pentameter if you stress the first 'e' in "slipperiest"

[gness]

Wouldn't it be scary to be invited out for a meal by Fatjoe?.....:-(

[Peter Pedant]

This thread should be banned on the grounds of public health

If it is a windup then it should be banned as bullied children who are looking for a way to self harm may be gormlessly misled

and if it isnt a windup... then it should be banned for safety reasons.... ergo

Luckily -after a few choking incidents - these contests are now in terms of the shortest time to swallow x objaaaaze. (eggs donuts, crisps)

rather than eat eggs until you pop.

even so.

The only time I have seen oil in this context is in the Jason Statham film where he is sliding around a garage doing his ninja thing. Covered in oil and in a pair of leather trousers....

there are no eggs damaged in this scene

and we are not told which oil ( as far as I recall)

[jomifl]

Oil will only coat oily foods such as sausages, for eggs you will probably need one of those 'intimate' lubricants such as KY jelly. I expect some ladies can tell you what it tastes like :o)

[DTCwordfan]

So can some men......