going to a party at the weekend.

[steve208]

I am going to a party this weekend and will see some friends from uni i havent seen for a year just a small affair i think at their house. I have to work during the day so can only finish ealy not have day off. I have to get the train so wont get there till 8pm which i feel bad about.

Anyway I am really nervous about seeing people and mostly the fact that i have not got far and they have. Ok so i am probably jelous but for me is more that i wont have much to talk about...not much positive anyway and dont think it would be a good idea to go all negative.

I get worried bout people situations a lot always been nervous with people if not seen them for a while just that it was easy at uni cos saw ppl all the time now my life is rather dull and im going to see them and things will be great for them im going to find it hard. any help much appreciated

[rosy posy]

I have every sympathy for you, it is always hard to see people when you haven't seen them for a while, that initial akwardness. However, I am sure that some of the other people feel just the same as you and that they will probably perceive your life as going great.

Not sure if this has been much help . . . good luck!

[Jay_Jay]

Can I suggest that you make your excuses and don't go.

It wouldn't be fair (on yourself) to put yourself in a situation in which YOU are going to feel uncomfortable. Most likely you won't enjoy yourself as you deserve: you make end up kicking yourself for having gone.

You may believe just because everybody else (in your view) has 'got on' in the world and that you haven't anything much in common anymore? And they've 'left you behind'? It's not true.

You will have worked a full day and you're tired. You're facing a train journey. You're going into a situation in which you may feel something of an outsider.

Contact your friends. E-mail them. Phone one or two. Catch up. But, don't be so hard on yourself.

Does that make sense?

[steve208]

oh i see. erm i dont really get all of what you are trying to say jay jay.

I am not really in a situation where i cant go now, ive told everyone i am going and got a text last night to make sure was going. I have been invited to things on other occasions and not been able to make it so really feel i have to go to this and though it will be hard...i am thinking the longer i leave it the harder it will be.

[Veggibear]

Your friends will probably be just as jealous of you. They will probably see your life differently than you do. There are plenty of other things to talk about - it's not like you would all talk about yourselves all night is it? I'm sure they will have things in their lives they are not happy about.

Try and relax about it, you are going to see some friends, not a job interview.

Good Luck

[Dollie]

Hi Steve - sometimes I just want to hug you and other times I want to give you a kick up the bum. (meant in the nicest possible way.) You have to stop all of this negative self-belief. In many of your postings you are always knocking yourself down and when we do that often enough - we actually believe it. I wish you could learn to have greater self-belief and then you would have more confidence automatically. Chances are there will be many of your old mates who haven't got fantastic jobs yet and are feeling like you are. If you do go then 'talk yourself up' rather than 'talking yourself down' if you do that, you'll feel as if you're growing in stature and chatting will become easier. Good luck my friend. Auntie Dollie xx

[cyclone]

Tell them about all of your friends on the internet!!

[sense4all]

Gosh, everybody has something about themselves or their lifestyle that makes them a little envious of each other. As my dear departed Dad used to say the sooner you get used to the idea that life can be a bit of a s** t sandwich the easier it will be on you! Remember somedays there is a lot of bread and a little bit of fillilng.... however other times there is only thin sliced bread avaliable and a whole lot of filling to go around.

A good example would be that there are lots of people around me who live in "footballers wives" property - and on the surface appear to have a charmed life...... however delve a little deeper and you find that there is a high level of alcoholism and quite a few are in the midst of divorce or debt proceedings and all of a sudden it is not quite what it appears to be is it?

My best friend some times says she wishes she had our money and a family - like us. I sometimes wish I could have a bath and a pee in peace- like she takes for granted. It would also be great to just get up and go, anywhere anytime, without it turning into a scheduling nightmare. See there is always something to appreciate about someone elses circumstances.

GO ,talk to people, get out - you will feel better when you are there. They are the same people just in slightly different circumstances.

[girlygirl]

Sense4all - your fab! xxx

[steve208]

Hi all

thanks for the advice.

I will try and be more positivge and talk my self "up" when i am on the train. Also will try not to work to hard satarday so im not too tired. Im going shopping tommorow afternoon so might buy some new clothers to make myself feel good. Yes i know clothers dont buy happyness but ive not spent any money on myself prob since christmas.

Thanks dollie....i want to kick myself most of the time.

But the thing that annoys me most is that part of me is happy bieng stuck and feeling low. dont know why this is...i suppose because it is easier to feel this way.

Anyway im going to make diner for the family now so i hope they like it...spicy turkey curry!

[Veggibear]

Hi steve208 how did it go?