My daughter is jealous.

[leigh2707]

I have a 3 year old daughter and a 9 month old son. Now my son is becoming that we bit more independent ie crawling, being fed, my daughter Joanne, gets very jealous and is now at the stage again, she wants to go back to a nappy like her brother, and wants fed all the time again like her brother. I feel she is doing this for attention and she is now refusing to use the toliet and will not eat her dinner unliess someone is feeding her. Can anyone help or advise?

[IggyB]

maybe involve her with her brother a little bit more in the situations you mention e.g. say you need her help to feed her baby brother and the two of you feed him together, or passing you the nappies etc when you are cleaning the baby... emphasise to her that she needs to be responsible for her brother as well, it is the responsibility and trust that will make her feel good and want to be an adult rather than a baby.

[TrishaP]

Hi

How about telling your daughter that as she is the big sister she needs to show her baby brother (and emphasise the her baby brother bit) how to learn to use the toilet, feed etc. Try and take him along to the toilet with her and pretend to her that she is teaching him what to do. Like wise with meal times - say things like 'lets show ?? how big sisters eat their dinner then when ?? is 3 he will know how to be a big boy and eat properly.' Or words to that effect anyway. Try encouraging her to teach him other things too - how to play with toys etc. Get her to think he is her baby as well as your baby. She should develop a sense of responsability suitable to her age. Perhaps buy sweets without her knowing or a little treat that she can find on your prompting in his pram as a thank you from him for helping to teach him how to grow up into a big boy.
A good friend of mine always refered to her second son as his elder brothers baby and he still looks out for him today even though they are now in thier early 20's !!!!!

[Primular]

Try to involve your daughter more with feeding and changing you son. When your son has a dirty nappy let your daughter help you change him, say things to her like how grown up she is because she uses the toilet all by her self, isnt she glad that she does not get all dirty when she needs to go the toilet, Take her to town on her own (if you can) and let her buy some really pretty panties. Buy her some special tissues and some special soap just for her.

Let her feed her brother, I know this will be messy and may take longer but she will soon become bored and want to do something else. Get her to show her brother what a good sister she is by showing him how to eat on her own. By letting your daughter become more involved with her brother she will not feel so left out.

When your son goes for his nap try to have as much one to one with her as you can. The housework can always wait till later.
Hope this helps, Good Luck

[devilwoman]

my daughter was the complete opposite although she was juat a baby herself at 14 months she adored her new brother and would try and help me bath and feed him, she would sit on the sofa and i would put him on her lap to hold while i kept my arm under his head, she loved being the little mummy, also she would try and lean over his cot and throw toys to him this was ok sometimes as long as there were soft toys not so good when she threw in her building bricks lol. try to involve her as much as possible and say things like is'nt nice and quite when baby is asleep ect and have a special cuddle time for her as an individual, again lots of love and encouragement for her. good luck

[Nummy]

whilst i agree that you should involve her as much as possible with her brother...and encourage her by being'big sister', i'm sure she'll probably get bored to death withhelping and being reminded that she now has a little brother.

Whilst baby is sleeping, make some time for her...so she has you all to herself for a little while...baby needs your full attention sometimes...make sure she has the same.