Crosswords1 min ago
An Old One Updated On Pope Francis
1 Answers
Put this on GMEB this morning, an updated version....
After getting all of Pope Francis's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver," Would you please take your seat so we can leave? We need to get to Heathrow for your return flight to The Vatican"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and now that I'm Pope, I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
(Remember, he's an Argie maniac.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, Dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as RetroCop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. "I need to talk to the Boss," he says to the dispatcher.
The Inspector of the Met gets on the radio and RetroCop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Inspector.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really big," said the Retrocop.
The Inspector exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the Retrocop with a bit of persistence.
The Inspector then asked, "Who ya got there, Mayor Boris?"
RetroCop: "Bigger."
Inspector: " David Cameron?"
RetroCop: "Bigger."
Inspector: "Prince Charles?"
RetroCop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Inspector, "Who is it?"
RetroCop: "I think it's God!"
The Inspector is stumped, " You been drinking, John? "
RetroCop: " No Sir."
Inspector : " Then what makes you think it's God?"
RetroCop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur."
After getting all of Pope Francis's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver," Would you please take your seat so we can leave? We need to get to Heathrow for your return flight to The Vatican"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and now that I'm Pope, I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
(Remember, he's an Argie maniac.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, Dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as RetroCop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. "I need to talk to the Boss," he says to the dispatcher.
The Inspector of the Met gets on the radio and RetroCop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Inspector.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really big," said the Retrocop.
The Inspector exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the Retrocop with a bit of persistence.
The Inspector then asked, "Who ya got there, Mayor Boris?"
RetroCop: "Bigger."
Inspector: " David Cameron?"
RetroCop: "Bigger."
Inspector: "Prince Charles?"
RetroCop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Inspector, "Who is it?"
RetroCop: "I think it's God!"
The Inspector is stumped, " You been drinking, John? "
RetroCop: " No Sir."
Inspector : " Then what makes you think it's God?"
RetroCop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur."
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