desperate for help

[happytohelp]

6 weeks a go i stupidly had unprotected sex with some one i dont know, i really dont need lectures i have never done this befor eand never will. i went and bought the morning after pill the next day but today i finally took a pregnancy test. Its positive. im not sure how long it will be now till im granted an abortion, and suddenly i feel terrified alone andashamed, what will happen after i make a doctors appoinment??please help im panicking.

[tomd]

Take another pregnancy test, and then go see your GP. I believe your GP is obliged not to tell your parents, if this is what you're worried about. Get checked for STIs as well, as you don't know his previous sexual encounters, nor who theirs.. Or go on Trisha.

[zgma]

Hi Happytohelp, I'm sorry you're in a difficult situation. Check out this web page for some information about what to expect at your doctor's appointment: http://www.bpas.org/ Also, just know that you are not alone - many, many women have had unwanted pregnancies, and many many more (probably most) have had close calls where we thought we were pregnant. And please try not to feel ashamed. You made a mistake that you know is a mistake, and you've learned from it. Everyone makes mistakes. Do you have someone trustworthy to talk to about it? If you have friends that would be supportive, they can help you to keep what happened in perspective and to not be ashamed about it. Good luck to you.

[zgma]

If you're in the U.S. - that web site won't really apply to you. This one applies to the U.S.: www.prochoice.org

[nicola_red]

My heart went out to you when I read this...I've never been in this situation but there but for the grace of God etc...you do need to get straight to your GP who can confirm your positive result (although my GP did once tell me that doctors usually trust the results of home tests as they are so well made these days) and then advise you on your best course of action. He/she'll be able to tell you the waiting times for an abortion. Be aware that doctors have been known to discourage women from aborting because of their own personal or religious beliefs, so if you don't get the help you need you may need to consider asking to see a different GP. If you can get the money together to abort privately then it can be done quickly by Marie Stopes (all the info is on their website) and they do the counselling etc, although I don't personally know anyone who's used them. A good GP will also help you talk through your other choices such as adoption or keeping your baby without pressuring you. You also really need to talk to someone you trust - a parent, friend or colleague (you don't say how old you are). I'm sure you will get lots of support whatever your choice. Good luck!

[andy hughes]

Hi happytohelp. Nothing i can add to the previous answers, only to add my asupport in this difficult time. You have made a mistake - we all do, that's why they put rubbers on the end of pencils! You need to get practical help from your GP, and referal for some emotional support to get you through this. It is a bad time for you, but you will emerge stronger from it, and learn from your experience - and who of any of us can ask for more than that? My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

[happytohelp]

thanks everyone, i really needed to hear something positive cause this is something i no i need to do alone, does anyone know if this is a same day procedure??im starting to worry about cover stories and stuff already

[miss]

there are 2 ways u can have an abortion - one is the medical one where a doctor surgically removes it, the other one which is used the most is where you take a pill at the hospital which starts the process u go home and 48 hrs later you go back and u are put on a ward where a pessary will be inserted into you so that ur womb will contract and u will begin to "miscarry" - a side effect of this is that u will be sick and feel sick (not everyone is affected tho) Afterwards you are also given an injection to try and stop any infections. Depending on ur body it will all be over in about 3 hrs and once everything is ok you can go home. You may suffer from bad stomach cramps and bleeding afterwards but in a couple of days physically u will start to feel better. mentally it may take more time. im sorry if i have gone into too much detail here but maybe its the "real" facts u needed to know. xxxx

[zgma]

A surgical abortion is definitely a same-day procedure, and very common, and very routine. Sounds like you'd be considered about 8 weeks pregnant (they count from your last menstrual period, not from the date of the sex). At 8 weeks the surgical procedure is very quick and safe. Most likely it is local anasthesia (this depends on the clinic though). The procedure itself would take 5-15 minutes. They would probably keep you for an hour or two until you're comfortable enough to leave, and they'll most likely counsel you about contraception before you leave too. Medication abortion is the pill that ilovegeorge is talking about. Most places only do those until about 9 or 10 weeks gestation. Check out www.medicationabortion.org for some information about that method. It's not a one-day method though - it takes a couple of doctor visits, and you spend a day or two with fairly heavy period symptoms. My preference, if I had to have an abortion, would be the surgical abortion because of that.

[miss]

the surgical abortion routine can in some cases damage u and u are more likely to get an infection. The "pill" one is considered more natural. I am actually talkin from experience, but at the end of the day the choice is urs. You will probably get a "councellor" and they talk through all the possible things that could happen in each just so u can be ready when u choose which procedure u want. x

[zgma]

Here's a web site with more info about surgical abortion: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/ABORTION/surgabort1.html You should see your doctor though, or call a clinic, to talk to someone about these options. Both are very safe, and which one you should do really just depends on your situation and your preferences. One thing I forgot to mention above is that if you are a minor, and you are in the U.S., you should ask the clinic about the laws in your state. Many have parental consent requirements or enforced waiting periods. It doesn't seem like this is an issue in the UK, but I know less about that.

[hectic]

Hi happyto help, I was in this same situation two years ago and I know how you must be feeling at the momoent, it is a very confusing and upsetting experience. I actually had the surgical abortion as I was 10 weeks pregnant and they put me to sleep which I would reccommend over a local aneasthetic as it is not a pleasant thing to go through so you wouldn't want to be awake during the procedure. I would ask you to talk your parents before you decide that this is what you want because many decisions can be made in haste and you cannot turn back the clock, I know I made my decision very quickly because it scared me and I thought I wouldn't have any help financially and emotionally but I was wrong, there are people there to help. Sorry if it sounds like I'm going on a bit here but I want you to think this through thouroughly as it is a life changing decision whatever you decide! If you are in the UK the number to ring is 08457 304030 for BPAS, this is who I used and they were very helpful and can arrange an appointment very quickly or just offer you advice, I hope this helps you, and please remember, don't let anybody else influence your decision, this is something that you and only you can decide. I also agree with Nicola_red about your GP, be wary as when I went to mine he treated me horribly as he didn't believe in what I wanted to and even refused to give me a test so I would advise going to a family planning clinic or pregnancy advisory service as they will be more understanding to your needs, take care x x

[AB Editor]

For all medical questions, we strongly advise you to seek professional advice from your doctor or a healthcare professional.  Please do not rely on, or wait for, advice from Answerbank users.

[JonesHarvey02]

If you have done tests and are sure you are pregnant, but don't want the pregnancy, you can access abortion pills quickly if your pregnancy is still within 10 weeks. One way you can go is to go to a clinic - if you live in a place where abortion can easily be accessed, if not you can buy abortion pills online from www.buyabortionmtppill.com.