Is This Normal Behaviour

[chickpea49]

A guy I work with called me yesterday from holiday to inform me that he was seriously injured on holiday and got airlifted to hospital whilst he is now fine he has significant injuries which will prevent him from flying home for the next few weeks. I am the team PA. He called me as it was a big kick off day for our boss and he didn't want to call in the middle of meetings. When I got home last night to bf of three years I told him about the accident and how upsetting it is to hear about things like that. He went completely off the handle asking why I was so upset and telling me that I was more upset about this than my cousin ( who had a stroke a few days ago) I said I wasn't more upset but when it's someone you know well it's not nice. He then asked how well I know him and are we friends and do we go to lunch together etc. He then wanted to know who my other male friends at work were and I said i don't reallly have any just girls and he said why is this guy special then. He really isn't he sits beind me and called me to say he had an accident nothing more nothing less. My bf won't let it go he keeps asking why this guy called me and not our boss to report the accident and when I tell him he just keeps saying its odd. I can't see what the issue is here I was just telling him about my day and then it turned into an arguement!

[murraymints]

a jealous..bullying control freak ??

[ladybirder]

I'd be walking away unless you want this sort of thing for the rest of your life. And don't make the mistake of thinking you can change him. Move on to someone who isn't so jealous and trying to control you. I wish you luck chickpea.

[EcclesCake]

You've done nothing wrong. Your BF is being a bit of a dick and doesn't understand your role.

I too would be a tad shook up if the person I sat next to had had an accident. I would also talk about it when I got home, he would empathise.

[Sqad]

Yes, this is normal behaviour........unless of course you are whiter than white and or "squeaky clean."
Are you?

[woofgang]

I don’t find it odd at all that he should call the team PA rather than the boss who might be harder to reach...has your BF behaved like this before?

[murraymints]

Sqad .... bad boy !! this is NOT normal !! all the poor girl did was take a phone call , talk of her day at work..and express concern for a colleague....now go stand in the corner ! lol xx

[Sqad]

Murray......yeah! right.
LUVU

[murraymints]

luvu 2 ! lol.. xxx...

[New Judge]

Ditto what ladybirder said.

What you describe is only normal behaviour for jealous creeps who do not trust their womenfolk. After three years he should demonstrate complete trust in you. If he does not (and from this episode he clearly does not) then you should seriously consider your future. In some of the work I have done over the past few years I have seen examples of women who are virtually confined to barracks because every move they make is scrutinised, queried, questioned and investigated. I have seen women who have had to give up work because their lives beyond the house have become so miserable that they’d sooner not go out.

It begins in the way you describe, then it will get worse. It will not get better, believe me. If that’s the sort of life you’d be prepared to put up with then go right ahead. My advice is to get out whilst the going is good.

[RandyMarsh]

No it is not normal.

What is normal is that you took the call and wanted to talk to your boyfriend about your day.

[atalanta]

It seems the colleague had every reason not to ring the boss. In any case, you cannot be expected to explain why someone else did something.
Do not accept any excuse from your boyfriend for his behaviour. Unless he accepts that he must trust you, you must leave him. Do not give in to this attempt to control you. It can and will only get worse. It always does.