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he wants to live with his dad

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suegeorge | 21:05 Tue 27th Jun 2006 | Parenting
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hi, my son is 13 , he has always lived with me but regually see his dad, more than the contact order state,s but just over a week ago me and my son fell out over his school report, and then crept out and rang his dad saying he had run away , his dad proceeded to ring the police and social services and report me for abusing my son, i did smack him on the leg , i thought the best way to deal with this is to let him have some space he will come home when his ready, after speaking to my ex mum she said he was,nt coming home because my son is *terrified * of my new husband we have been together for 11 years, and never had a problem, so i told my husband to go and stay with his dad for a few days till i get to the bottom of things, but the next day i got served with a court order and in the statement there was no mention of my hushband and that it was me ha was scared of, i spoke to social services and they assured me nobody had made any allegations against myself and she gave me some reaaly good advice (off the record) with i have done, but things are not getting any better i have spoke to my son and 100% believe he is being manipulated , he told me he is attending court next week and has already gave a statement to his dads solicitor , so i ended up falling out with him again because i think he is to young to be this involved, escpecially as i have agreed for him to stay at his dad.s thinking he will soon get fed up , but his dad and family will not give up till they have full costody which dead and over come, s to mind will i let him have that, he has been grated a temperay residence order until we go back to court, but im so scared i am losing my son , any idea,s thanks
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I think you need to get the help of a professional solicitor over this. Ive had similar scares with my ex and son (not quite as bad as you describe though) and my solicitor was great, just advice most of the time - never had to go any further than that. Good Luck.
Make sure your son knows you love him and you will be there for him,if he is being manipulated he WILL wise up to it,at the moment maybe he is trying to hurt you and his dad and his family are pushing that,at the end of the day please tell your son at every opportunity how much you love him and that you will ALWAYS be there for him,kids are funny things,they can see through people so well and he WILL see his other family for what they are,good luck and let us know please how you get on!!
What an terrible situation to be in. Please tell your son that although you may not always agree on everything you will always love him, and it is ok to get angry with each other from time to time and that you can still love each other. Try not to get angry - i know its hard - but his father is obviously using your anger against you with your son. Good luck,
I aslo agre with pam - get a solicitor to help you
your son just needs to know that you love him during this difficult time. my friends son rejected her when her relationship ended with his dad ended but as he gets more mature he will learn not to resent you
cant offer alot of help im afraid but want to offer a load of sympathy, how awful for you and your son to have to be going through this. he will wise up im sure and realise the grass isnt always greener.
as the others say ....get a solicitors advice,i know they are pricey but if you go to your local citizens advice bureau they will put you in contact with a free half hour solicitor.
best of luck and please report back!

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