Are The West In The Grip Of The Woke...
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Help me cont cont (last one!)
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At the time I knew I'd been bothered by it but I thought I was OK about it all. I felt really unhappy though and I realised later it was because of that when I got home. I managed to fall out with my mum and considering yesterday was only my second day home after not having seen her for 3 months I found this quite upsetting. But I even surprised myself when I burst into tears when I was on my own upstairs. I just couldn't help myself. I was also disappointed in myself for having eaten all my dinner when I'd decided only to have half of it as part of my diet (particularly after having already had quite a big lunch). So whilst I was in the bathroom crying I had the sudden urge to make myself sick. I was feeling really desperate and was disgusted with the fact that I had eaten so much during the day when I meant to be on a strict diet. Also, I don't know why but it felt like a bit of a release. I didn't enjoy the experience and I couldn't really do it properly (I was only sick a little) but I kind of felt better afterwards. It was just the only thing I cold think of to do at the time. I know about bulimia etc and I'm not bulimic because this is just an isloated incident and I haven't binged or anything. I'm just so unhappy. Part of the problem is I feel guilty for being unhappy because if someone explained my life to you, you'd think I was one of the luckiest girls in the world. I've done very well academically, I've got good friends, I've got a good family, I've got a nice job and I've only got the future to look forward to. I really don't know why I'm so unhappy. I don't know whether it's all down to this boy who's upset me or whether that was just one blow too many and made me crumble. I just don't know. If any of you can shed any light on the matter I'd be so grateful. Thanks for reading this!
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OK - let's take these issues one at a time -
first of all your insecurity and self image - you feel that because you look 'different' from when you went away, that people will judge you differently, but this is actually not true, although it's easy to think this way.
second - your colleage at work -
he may be finding it a ittle awkward to adjust to seeing you again, because remember he has been 'away' from you for three months as well, so it will take time for things to settle down, so give him time, and don;t read too much into his behaviour.
thirdly - your row with your mum -
again, she has got used to you being away, and is adjusting to having you around again, and this can manifest itself in hostilty, as weird as that sounds, again, it will settle down with time.
Lastly - you -
You have returned to your 'world' after being away, and you are finidn it hard to serttle back into your place in it, and in the lives of those around you who have carried on in your absence. This is completely normal, and it will only take a short period of adjustment before you feel safe and secure again.
first of all your insecurity and self image - you feel that because you look 'different' from when you went away, that people will judge you differently, but this is actually not true, although it's easy to think this way.
second - your colleage at work -
he may be finding it a ittle awkward to adjust to seeing you again, because remember he has been 'away' from you for three months as well, so it will take time for things to settle down, so give him time, and don;t read too much into his behaviour.
thirdly - your row with your mum -
again, she has got used to you being away, and is adjusting to having you around again, and this can manifest itself in hostilty, as weird as that sounds, again, it will settle down with time.
Lastly - you -
You have returned to your 'world' after being away, and you are finidn it hard to serttle back into your place in it, and in the lives of those around you who have carried on in your absence. This is completely normal, and it will only take a short period of adjustment before you feel safe and secure again.
contd. -
Because you have had some problems with the adjustment of returning, as have those around you, it has knocked your personal confidence and given you a low self-image, refltected in yout 'hatred' of yuour body, and desire to take control with vomiting, which you already know is not the way forward.
Give yourself some time, relax, take things easy. It won't all slot back together instantly, you are a woman not an AA battery!
If you relax, be nice to yourself, and take things steady over the next few days and weeks, you, and those around you, will get used to youbeing back, and things will carry on as before.
Don't make any hasty decisions about dieting - if as you say you have simply gained some muscle, that's not a bad thing, so take some time tyo decide if you want to chnage that aspect of yourself.
Don't feel 'guilty' because you feel you are not entitled to feel down and sad - you are, we all are, it's a matter of feelings, not your status and place in the world. if you feel bad, we will deal with it, not judge you because you 'should be OK', that's just something else to beat yourself up with, so abandon that notion right now.
You sound like a kind and sensitive person, just a little confused by the situation you find yourself in right now, but these blips will pass and you will be fine.
Stay in touch here, there are plenty of us to give you help and support.
Because you have had some problems with the adjustment of returning, as have those around you, it has knocked your personal confidence and given you a low self-image, refltected in yout 'hatred' of yuour body, and desire to take control with vomiting, which you already know is not the way forward.
Give yourself some time, relax, take things easy. It won't all slot back together instantly, you are a woman not an AA battery!
If you relax, be nice to yourself, and take things steady over the next few days and weeks, you, and those around you, will get used to youbeing back, and things will carry on as before.
Don't make any hasty decisions about dieting - if as you say you have simply gained some muscle, that's not a bad thing, so take some time tyo decide if you want to chnage that aspect of yourself.
Don't feel 'guilty' because you feel you are not entitled to feel down and sad - you are, we all are, it's a matter of feelings, not your status and place in the world. if you feel bad, we will deal with it, not judge you because you 'should be OK', that's just something else to beat yourself up with, so abandon that notion right now.
You sound like a kind and sensitive person, just a little confused by the situation you find yourself in right now, but these blips will pass and you will be fine.
Stay in touch here, there are plenty of us to give you help and support.
Hi,It can be quite depressing to come back to "regular" life after being away for a while.Even when I have been on holiday for 2 weeks its a bit of a downer coming home to the humdrum of work etc.
Your weight - you have put on a stone you say - well if you were only a size 8/10 before then you cant be anymore than a 12 which is perfectly normal.I wouldnt diet or anything.Just eat when you are hungry,go for the healthy option and you will be fine.
The guy - maybe he finds it strange you are back,maybe he has a girlfriend now,either way,jusy keep on being your normal self and things will soon settle down,
Good luck.xx
Your weight - you have put on a stone you say - well if you were only a size 8/10 before then you cant be anymore than a 12 which is perfectly normal.I wouldnt diet or anything.Just eat when you are hungry,go for the healthy option and you will be fine.
The guy - maybe he finds it strange you are back,maybe he has a girlfriend now,either way,jusy keep on being your normal self and things will soon settle down,
Good luck.xx
Poor you.
Firstly, the guy at work. Maybe he's had some sort of run-in about you with his girlfriend and is trying to avoid you for that reason. Could be he thinks you don't want to know him. Whatever, what about emailing/texting him and seeing if you can meet up - maybe for coffee or something, and getting it sorted out?
As for the rest of it, it seems to me like you have post-holiday blues. Three months is a long time on holiday. You've seen a bit of the world and will have had your horizons changed whether you realise it or not. Now you have to get back to earth, and it comes with a bump, doesn't it? Last time this happened to me I walked out on my job and have never regretted it since. Not that I advocate you do the same, you understand, but I do know how you feel. It will get better.
I would go along to your GP/practice nurse and ask for a simple, sensible diet plan - a stone really isn't that much to lose. You could also find a way of taking some exercise, say swimming, cycling or jogging. This will help you to lose weight as well feel better in yourself. The other advantage that you may get to meet some new people, which is probably what you could use right now.
Firstly, the guy at work. Maybe he's had some sort of run-in about you with his girlfriend and is trying to avoid you for that reason. Could be he thinks you don't want to know him. Whatever, what about emailing/texting him and seeing if you can meet up - maybe for coffee or something, and getting it sorted out?
As for the rest of it, it seems to me like you have post-holiday blues. Three months is a long time on holiday. You've seen a bit of the world and will have had your horizons changed whether you realise it or not. Now you have to get back to earth, and it comes with a bump, doesn't it? Last time this happened to me I walked out on my job and have never regretted it since. Not that I advocate you do the same, you understand, but I do know how you feel. It will get better.
I would go along to your GP/practice nurse and ask for a simple, sensible diet plan - a stone really isn't that much to lose. You could also find a way of taking some exercise, say swimming, cycling or jogging. This will help you to lose weight as well feel better in yourself. The other advantage that you may get to meet some new people, which is probably what you could use right now.
I came back from a year's travelling after uni about 3 years ago, and the new lifestyle I had to adopt (working for a living! shock horror) got me really down for a while. I really got down after the freedom of my tavelling days. All I can say is that I got used to things, but not in a bad way. I began to notice things with my new life that made me really happy, and whilst it's still a nightmare sometimes, I have a lot of happiness in it.
Get a sensible diet/exercise plan. You wont lose wait just by starving yourself, and you'll end up making yourself ill. You'll be even worse off if you do that. Know that being a size 12 is absolutely normal, and you should try to remain as positive as possible.
1 row with your mum is just 1 row. If i had a penny for every time I'd rowed with mine, I could conceivably have paid my roomand board when i lived with her! Tell her your sorry, and you'll both move on.
Try chatting to the bloke. Perhaps you'll find something out you didn't want to know, but perhaps you'll realise that you've blown it out of all proportion. Deal with it when you know the problem
At the end of the day your problems are very managable so break them down into their components and deal with them 1 at a time. Good luck
Get a sensible diet/exercise plan. You wont lose wait just by starving yourself, and you'll end up making yourself ill. You'll be even worse off if you do that. Know that being a size 12 is absolutely normal, and you should try to remain as positive as possible.
1 row with your mum is just 1 row. If i had a penny for every time I'd rowed with mine, I could conceivably have paid my roomand board when i lived with her! Tell her your sorry, and you'll both move on.
Try chatting to the bloke. Perhaps you'll find something out you didn't want to know, but perhaps you'll realise that you've blown it out of all proportion. Deal with it when you know the problem
At the end of the day your problems are very managable so break them down into their components and deal with them 1 at a time. Good luck
It is always very difficult to settle back into 'normality' after being away for a while. You feel you've changed, your family and friends and people you've known no longer feel 'familiar' - but you should just give it time. I think the urge to make yourself sick (and feeling better afterwards) is just you trying to take control of something (in this case, your body) when the circumstances around you feel beyond your control. As good ole Andy says, keep in touch!
Fair play peterd, and my sincere aplogies for my rather personal response to your post.
Experience has taught me to take people's requests for help and support as genuine until proven otherwise - and i am sure this is absolutely genuine, no-one one on a wind-up would be so detailed.
So, if I am right, we have some suportive answers, and again, apolgies for firing off a personal attack without thinking - which is not like me at all.
Experience has taught me to take people's requests for help and support as genuine until proven otherwise - and i am sure this is absolutely genuine, no-one one on a wind-up would be so detailed.
So, if I am right, we have some suportive answers, and again, apolgies for firing off a personal attack without thinking - which is not like me at all.
What??? The best advice has been given by Andy Hughes and we will all attest to his superior good sense.
You don't say how old you are but I would imagine early 20's the only thing that I would add to Andy's advice is that sometimes your hormones can play tricks with you up and make you feel very miserable. My PMT 'sympton' was the most appalling depression and paranoia when I felt as if I was being 'shunned' by friends, that people were conspiring against me and I felt ugly. As I got older my hormones settled and I stopped feeling this way - but it helped to know that it was my 'hormones' and not my fault. It may be worth talking to a sympathetic Doctor.
You don't say how old you are but I would imagine early 20's the only thing that I would add to Andy's advice is that sometimes your hormones can play tricks with you up and make you feel very miserable. My PMT 'sympton' was the most appalling depression and paranoia when I felt as if I was being 'shunned' by friends, that people were conspiring against me and I felt ugly. As I got older my hormones settled and I stopped feeling this way - but it helped to know that it was my 'hormones' and not my fault. It may be worth talking to a sympathetic Doctor.
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