Declining An Invitation, Without Giving A Reason

[Big Jenny]

Earlier in the year we were invited to the wedding of a cousin who we hardly know. Hubby didn't really want to go, as he's very anti-social, but I talked him round a bit by saying that there were a few other family members who I would like to see, including a great uncle in his nineties who I may not get the chance to see again. So, I booked a hotel for one night, and replied and accepted the invitation. Now, not only have I found out that none of the family members who I was counting on seeing are going to be there, but hubby has suddenly decided we can't afford it and he's refusing point-blank to go. I am sure I can cancel the hotel booking without penalty, as there is still a while to go before the wedding, but what do I say to the bride and groom-to-be, having previously accepted their invitation? I would feel embarrassed to tell them that we can't afford to go, and just as embarrassed to tell them that hubby is throwing a tantrum! Can anyone suggest a way of putting it so I don't have to give the real reason for the change of mind?

[murraymints]

just say unforseen circumstances !! don't feel pressured to go if you don't want to..if they are well mannered they wont ask.. write or send card so you will not be drawn...

[scooping]

So very sorry. Can't come. Family problems. Have a wonderful day. What's hard?

[scooping]

Make that 11 words. A fraction of the question. Are you for real?

[Big Jenny]

It wouldn't have been hard to decline the invitation in the first place, scooping, but I just wish hubby had thrown his wobbly BEFORE I wrote and accepted. Now I feel such a Charlie, having accepted, to now have to write and decline after all.

[scooping]

Just say what I said! Hub's wobbly known to you but not to them.

[Mamyalynne]

They'll be so busy planning the day they'll just accept a simple - 'So sorry, unexpected change, can't come - Have a fabulous day'.

[scooping]

mamyalynne: Exactly. Now, Jen, move on.

[Old_Geezer]

I hope you mean unsociable.

Just say that something has come up and it won't be possible.

I can't see that finally deciding not to comply with someone one isn't interested in is the same as throwing a tantrum.

[Old_Geezer]

... with something ...
!!!

[Big Jenny]

Thanks mamyalynne and scooping for your suggestions. Perhaps I had blown it up out of all proportion, but it has been worrying me.
I'll try and compile a little note to send them, and then perhaps I can "move on".

[Mamyalynne]

Sooner you do it the more relaxed you'll feel.

[murraymints]

they may actually be pleased to have 2 less

[Mamyalynne]

O_G, you didn't see Mr Jen, oooh when he throws a tantrum he goes for it.

Doesn't he Jenny? ;-)

[scooping]

Have a good day sweetiepie. Write the note then watch the tennis or track the butterflies.

[Big Jenny]

Yes, mamyalynne, he is basically a miserable and selfish old b****r. I always thought you sometimes had to do things you weren't keen on to please a partner/loved one ( I certainly have over the years), but he has never done.

[murraymints]

go without him then !

[Mamyalynne]

Sad to hear that, take care Jenny.x

[murraymints]

take a friend then ! bu%%er him !

[tamborine]

"....hubby has suddenly decided we can't afford it and he's refusing point-blank to go...."

Send exes refund with apology. Couple will appreciate monetary gift.