I think it may be the exposure in public that is the problem for them. I can well remember being taken (aged - can't remember, possibly about 7 or 8,) to 'pay respect' to a relative who I had visited just the week before (sat on his knee etc.). The coffin was open and occupied the dining-table on which we'd eaten together the week before. OK, not my mum and I do believe that losing your mum is the worst loss of your life (apart from that of a child, which we have suffered, but which, fortunately, is not inevitable) but children are resilient and at a private funeral a child would have been present. I think it is the 'cover your grief, stiff-upper-lip' necessary because of the huge publicity that was the problem.