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Grand Stupidity

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NoMercy | 20:15 Thu 17th Aug 2017 | ChatterBank
38 Answers
In the pub with the husband and we're standing at the bar waiting to be served.

It's the turn of the man standing next to us who is perusing the food menu.

"Can I help you, Sir?"

"Oh hi, yes, do you serve food here?"


Can anyone better that?
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On one of our frequent holidays in Wales my OH stopped in a pub and asked the barmaid how to get to Caerphilly and if she knew a pub that did good food.

We were in a pub in Caerphilly that won an award for its food!!

She looked at him like he was an idiot. I just shrugged and rolled my eyes. She just gave me a nod.
Gneiss, did you find the book and what was it called?
I booked a party for the thing 1 and thing 2 and explained that they were twins, person on the phone asked their names and then asked how old thing 1 was going to be and then asked how old thing 2 was going to be.
Yes I did, Cassa.....can't quite remember how but it was Felidae A Novel of Cats and Murder......x
I think my sister lost count of the number of people who asked whether her boy/girl twins were identical...
And one woman who had been talking to her, explained to her husband when he showed up "no, they aren't identical. One is 4 minutes older".
When MrG died everything had to be changed to my name only..including payment to Tesco for the internet.....
I thought I'd done this all properly but despite the monthly payment going out in my name Tesco cut off the internet because MrG hadn't paid....

I called them and explained he was dead and that I was now paying...payments were up to date and would they reconnect......

After much sympathy for my loss they said yes....they would change things at their end into my name.......but only after they had spoken to MrG to confirm he was happy with the new arrangement.....

After a little silence on my part as I took this in I explained why this wasn't possible ......short of a seance......


She was sorry.....but that was the rule......they must get his permission first...... :-)

Lad asked for the deodorant counter and was asked 'Would you like the roll-on ball type'. He replied, 'No, it's for under my arms'
When my daughter was about 4 months old, and who was all in pink, bright pink bonnet, pink bonnet, a local woman stopped me to take a look at baby and said, "Is it a boy or girl?"....
Hey I know that chemist Dave

a fren' ( who clearly washed ) walked into that chemist and said
" a bar of soap please"
and the girl said questioningly " Toilet soap, sir?"
and he said - no I want it for my face ....
for grand stupidity
has anyone read some of the answers on "Another Terrorist Attack" ? running at present on another corner of AB

why do we put up with this ? er sorry it is Barcelona.....
why did we close Guantanamo ? ( excuse me?) - it really worked ......
I always said this would happen .....
Please be patient with me. Go back 100 years (and a bit more) to Jerome K. Jerome and the start of '3 Men on a Bummel'. There is a scene where George (outside a shop dripping with hats) asks in his best guide-book German if 'One here sells hats?' I may have misremembered, but it is one of the hugely comic moments in Eng. Lit..

I know that PP and several others will be with me and smile at this.
^If you're looking for grand stupidity, it's right there^.
Cross-posted Jourdain. That was for the post before yours.
jourdain; If I remember correctly he also, when trying to buy a pillow for his bed (Kopfkissen), asks the young lady in the shop for a 'Kopfküsschen' which would mean a little kiss.

Once lost in the centre of Cork city I asked a man which was the direction out of town towards Waterford, he pointed the the way and I said thanks, "there seem to be no signs here in the town centre", he said, "Yes you will find them when you leave the town that is where you need them
Shopping with my daughter, she had bought a pedal bin and was standing waiting for me, she had loads of bags so put the bin on the ground beside her. A bloke walked by and threw his rubbish in her bin.
My friend has a son and when he was a baby a lady stopped next to her , looked in the pram at him ( all in blue ) and said oh what a pretty little girl? My friend just stood and stared at her in amazement!!
Ha ha I love the two about the babies ..

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