How to mend a broken heart?

[happysax]

My girlfriend has just abandoned me. I won't go into the reasons why because that's beside the point. What I want to know is - how can I get over it? I miss her and love her and I am heartbroken. Are there any steps I can take?

[Greedyfly]

Get back on your 'horse' and back in the dating game - it works most of the time.

[smudge]

Don't want to sound 'old fashioned' but whenever me or my siblings used to get let down, etc., my dear Mum always used to say: 'There's a reason for everything' & 'Something even better will come along later you'll see'. How right she was! You may very well be feeling heartbroken, but better for your girlfriend to abandon you now (for whatever reason), than to carry on pretending, then drop you after, say, marriage or children. When the 'right' girl comes along, you'll be thanking your lucky stars, believe me or my Mum!

[apricot]

Advice already offered may sound glib (although true). Try to think of your good qualities and what others may find attractive in you. If your ex was less than complimentary upon her departure then you may want to approach a friend (a true friend) and ask their honest opinion. No point in horrid things happening to you if you can't learn from them. Sounds a bit hard, sorry but this is the only way to get a positive outcome. It may be that she was unfairly critical, it has been known. We may be the fairer sex but not necessarily the fairest one! Try to get out and do new things and meet new people, whatever you do don't languish at home and mope. Good Luck

[sft42]

What do you want to hear? She's coming back...ain't gonna happen.......You'll find someone better......perhaps you will perhaps you won't.....life is cack get used to it.....All women will break you heart at some point or other....they cry and sniffle about it and get over men.....We on the other hand are told by society that we have to be touch and macho and get on with it so we bottle up our emotions and fry ourselves.....Women can't live with them and can't kill them and get away with it :>)

[dave_in_cw]

Whatever you do, do not try to get her back. If you want her back, the best thing you can do is leave her alone to sort stuff out in her head. But I would not hope to get her back. In the long run you will probably see that your life will be as good if not better without her. Of course you've heard it before, but you need time to heal the pain. The first 3 months are the worst, but eventually you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. In the mean time, try not to place unreasonable demands on your recuperative abilities. During this time bear in mind that there are no rules. Everyone handles grief differently. If you go out and get blind drunk then so be it! But maybe you should take this opportunity to do new things. Go to a place you've never been before; a change of scenery can do you good. Get in touch with mates you might have neglected whilst you were engrossed with your ex ' they will understand! Of course if you have mutual friends that could be complicated. You obviously do not want to bump into your ex. That could wreak havoc with your emotions. You also do not need to know who she might fancy or have snogged etc. She has her agenda and you have yours. On that note, I would not recommend trying to replace her with another whilst you're feeling heartbroken, unless of course you find another girl you truly fancy, which is not likely.

[dave_in_cw]

That's not to say you shouldn't play the field though: bed as many women as possible if that's what makes you happy (remember there are no rules). Just take precautions and don't try to replace the emotional bond you had with your ex just yet. Try to remain as busy as possible. Hit the gym again; try a new sport, especially a team sport like cricket where you'll make new mates. If you care about your job, now's a good time to channel lots of energy into it. It's one thing that is stable in your life and over which you do have control. There are plenty fish in the sea. Whatever your ex found attractive about you initially would surely be attractive to other women too, which means that in time the 'right' girl will come along. But until then, keep your chin up, and don't go whimpering back to your ex. Once the dust has settled you'll be so glad you kept your dignity. Heartbreak is an awful experience. The up side is that once you're over it, you will be wiser for it. Good luck.

[gnasher]

go on the pull mate . after the next girl youll fell a good bit better !!

[happysax]

Thanks for all your answers, everybody. I will work on it, and I'll bounce back.

[flirty41]

I bet she misses you, loves you and is heartbroken too, despite being the one to make the break, for whatever reasons. It will take time for both of you to get through this. In the meanwhile, remember her with fondness, and remember all the good times you had together, as I bet she does. Be happy that you found one another. I'm sure you are never out of her thoughts, and that she hopes you can forgive her one day. I hope you find happiness, happysax. xx

[becks]

hello happysax, i am going through exactly the same thing at the moment, and i've found book that's really good, it's called 'how to mend your broken heart' by Paul McKenna i think. i'm reading it now and it's got lots of exercises to help you move on. It's only now that i m starting to accept the situation, and we broke up nearly two months ago. i still feel that i'll never love anyone like i loved him and that i don't ever want to be with anyone else but i accept that i won't feel like this forever. try reading the book, i know how hard this is and people saying you'll get over it/find someone else don;t make you feel better. her coming back is the only thing that will make it better i know, but accepting that she might not be coming back is the first step. good luck xx