Why Am I So Vexed

[jennyjoan]

Another brother has died last night and I am so so sad. He has gone to be with his twin. I have lost 3 brothers within 5 years - they all had issues but were all problematic but entertaining. I seem tonight to be thinking of past-times when we were all together ie mum and dad and because my memory is too detailed I can remember pretty much details of our time together - the name calling, the play fights and the not too playful fights but very sad indeed. What is this point of living when in the end you die. Sorry for being morbid. x

[murraymints]

I will light a candle at mass tonight and will pass your brother 's repose on for our prayers.....

[Peter Pedant]

I was told I would have a septicaemia (which I did)
and that I would think I was gonna die which I did
but I wouldnt ( which was a close thing to my mind)
and in my examination of my conscience ( oo-er! this was 1999, a bit heavy and religious)
that betraying trust and screwing people [so that I gained and they didnt] was the thing I really should go around and say 'I am sorry I did this to you'
so I did - the number of people was under 10 but it weighed heavily upon me until I had done it

I dont think your regrets come to this level do they ?

when I was five ( yes 1955) I took sweeties from a stranger and my brother told my father - - big trouble - oh god all over the dining room.
I knew him but not his name and didnt have the language skills to express this -[ ( I know who it is but I cant name him) ( actually it was my father's dispenser's husband and yeah as a five year old I couldnt say that)

But now in conclusion I have to say it seems irrelevant overall to what happened and anyone's life
and there is no shared memory
( my brother - oh did I ?)

so think about it and come to terms with - no one else will understand.

[ my mother found this a burden - that no one had any idea of life in the British Raj 1910-1928 in India because they were all dead]

this is a difficult time and you will get beyond it

[murraymints]

AND that is why I loves ya PP xx

[hereIam]

So sorry to hear about your brother jj. The bereft feeling will pass, though it may take a while. I lost both of my beloved parents in a short time of each other, they were my family as I have no kids of my own and oh that was hard and I too couldn't see the point in going on, still don't occasionally, but somehow another day dawns and on I plod. Take care x

[albaqwerty]

It's always painful to have close family members depart within a short space of time.
It's painful to just have one depart at any time.

Scream, wail, sit it silence, whatever and whenever it feels right for you to do whatever.

Amo so sorry for your loss and sympathies to Tonyv

[murraymints]

Tony.. my heart goes to you too soz xx

[hereIam]

I often screamed and wailed albs (and still do sometimes), I agree it helps in a way. I feel so sorry for people who can't let it out.

[Arksided]

Sorry for your recent losses Jenny Joan, I have four Brothers and one step Brother all fine and well. Needless to say we didn't always get along... but nowadays being 'Mature adults Pinocchio moment. we do have a laugh about things in the past. It's good that you have a good memory.

[Patsy33]

So very sorry to hear about losing your brother. It's a lot to bar, having already lost two others in a relatively short time. You will have lots of clear memories when you were younger, thinking of all the good and bad times. It's part of the grieving process. I think we all try to make sense of life, especially when we lose someone close. Perhaps, hopefully, it will all make sense one day! Until then, take care JJ and when your grief allows, enjoy what time you and your sista got left. x

[Patsy33]

^^^^^^^^^
to bear!

[jennyjoan]

Thanks everyone for all your posts - much appreciated.

As sista says he was a character - a nuisance but a character LOL

Thanks again. xxxx

[TonyV]

Jj just you take care & thanks for everyone for your messages to me