Quite Proud Of Myself

[sherrardk]

My eldest daughter (12) is finding secondary school really hard - she is horribly clever (it does her no favours) and since leaving primary she has been praised a lot (at primary school they played it down because she had the same teacher all day who didn't single her out). Anyway, one particular girl is being pre-teen nasty about/to her (nothing major, but drip drip). What I want to do is go and give the girl's mother a mouthful but I have kept a lid on it, told himself he will have to have a word if need be. Not a question, just anted to get it out.

[Mamyalynne]

You've done well to resist the urge to fire in all blazing, give her the strength and confidence to rise above it - the other girl will get bored with no response.

It's not easy is it?

[jno]

it's very possible your daughter would be mortified if she found her parents had got involved. Does the school have a bullying policy?

[sherrardk]

We're very open with our kids and my daughter knows how hard I'm finding it not to blow my top. I need her to know I've got her back as we have no family so she has no other grown ups to turn to if she needs to. We're not at the bullying stage yet (not far off in my opinion). I just feel so bad for her, she has had to squish her abilities and now she's getting grief because her teachers are praising her. I did warn her before she went to high school that this would happen but it's so difficult to see her going through it (I am still v proud of my temper holding ability today).

[Mamyalynne]

So you should be, as long as she knows you're there whatever, she'll get through - a word to the teachers to be less vocal with their praise in class may afford some respite.

[Patsy33]

I hope your daughter has the strength of character to rise above this or she is going dumb down her work to please this girl and others. I've heard if this sort of thing before. Such a shame. Try and hold back as long as you can. She knows you're there if she needs you.

[sherrardk]

Thanks all - I find it really hard to have any sort of perspective because I have no one to bounce off. I'm a calm person until my kids' are involved so I recognise I have to keep a lid on it. I'm sure she'll be fine, we're a resilient bunch - it's just hard to see (it only came out because she's not well and I made her stay home and her elder brother told me some stuff).

[gness]

Sherr....isn't it a shame if she has to try to hide her talents just because other children are brought up to believe that taunting and bullying......even mild bullying....is acceptable....and that it will teach a different child to grow and face the world......
I had one child who was very gifted....I was so lucky to be able to send her to a small school where she could be as good as she could be without having to hide it...

I find it sad that you say she is horribly clever and it does her no favours.......we should be nurturing children like this.....helping them be the best they can.....
But I do know what you mean when you say that.....I've seen it.......so sad.....

Keep your temper......I know you'll do the best for her........Gx

[sherrardk]

Thanks Gness, I feel bad that she has to hide it - she knows it's more important to be nice than clever but she can't help being clever. Very hard to do the right thing for her, I don't want her to be bragging about it but I don't want her to dogged by it either.

[gness]

She can be clever and be nice, Sherr.......and from what I know of you on AB she won't be bragging.....
I hope she can shine and achieve happily and with confidence........x

[anneasquith]

The important thing is, she has a loving supportive family to care for her, :-)