I'm 14 And My Parents Won't Let Me Have Snapchat

[svc03]

I'm 14 and of course I want snapchat. But my parents don't want me to have it. They just dont like the disappearing photos and that the texts dont save by default. I know myself and I know that I would NEVER send anything inappropriate and if I ever received anything inappropriate I would tell someone. I also want the app for my friends only and would never chat with a stranger. What is your opinion?

[goodgoalie]

But we are all strangers

[davegosling]

goodgoalie is right - you're chatting with strangers right now!

[Metaphysicalus]

I'd advise listening to your parents over listening to others. They, at least, have your best interests at heart. You could talk to them about their concerns and investigate the pros and cons of snapchat. I'm sorry I do not know anything about that particular site. I'm sure that your loved ones are only looking after your well-being and safety. Talk to them some more.

[woofgang]

My opinion is that while you are under your parents roof, you have to play by their rules.

[Peter Pedant]

your parents are right

[Kidas]

I think it is very difficult to find a path through this kind of question.

As a parent, I installed software on our childrens' computers that restricted access to certain types of site and online activity. I downgraded the restrictions at each birthday.

I combined that software with my limited attempts to explain why I was restricting their access to things that some of their friends were allowed to do, and the dangers of certain participants who also use the internet.

By the age of 18, all restrictions had been lifted.
I also limited access to the most dangerous sites at router level.

This did not stop any such activity on their phones.

They resented it.

However, now that they are both over 20, we can talk about it and they acknowledge that we (as parents) probably made the right decision.

They are both, I think, pretty savvy about computers. One leanred to get around my restrictions by installing a dual-boot linux distro on her machine (I had to admire that one).

The other was more accepting of the limitations I placed on his machine.

The point is that this is something that children and parents need to talk about and work out suitable solutions for each case.

Try talking calmly and rationally to your parents and give them some good reasons why you should have access and also give them some commitments about what you will do to reassure them that you can use Snapchat (and any other sites) responsibly.

Maybe permit them to see your activity so that they can see you are being responsible. Maybe offer to do more work around the house in exchange for their permission.

See if you can do something for them, to help them decide to do something for you.

Good luck!

[EDDIE51]

Some information here
https://www.forbes.com/sites/larrymagid/2013/05/01/what-is-snapchat-and-why-do-kids-love-it-and-parents-fear-it/#20ba8bae4fce
Reading the link suggests snapchat is one of the main ways that 'Sexting' and sexual images are communicated to children.

[kvalidir]

I appreciate why you feel offended, your parents are implying that in some greater or lesser way they don't trust you, and that has to be annoying and hurtful, however you are their child, so they are bound to be concerned and panicked over things like Snapchat, because for every thousand people who use it perfectly normally, there are a handful of weirdos bullies and perverts who don't and it's them who hit the headlines. I think maybe the way forward is to have a sensible adult chat with them and ask them if you can try it for say a month. You sound really sensible, so I imagine if there have been no issues during that month they will relax somewhat. It's important that you stick to your side of the bargain and don't abuse any trust they place in you if they agree to that. Just an aside, Snapshat is not all that so don't break your heart if they won't agree, I have it and never use it, and I'm only a few years older than you. My own parents never monitored me and I never abused that privilege, but you can't blame them for wanting to keep their most precious thing safe, so try to take it as a compliment rather than feel stifled, but I do understand where you are coming from. x

[Old_Geezer]

You probably don't want to hear it, and I'm sure you believe you are responsible and never make mistakes; but your parents have responsibilities, and it would be irresponsible of them to allow something they are concerned about simply because you say you know that you'll be ok. That's a sure way for parents to fail to do their job.

You can live without Snapchat. And when you are old enough to be in your own home, and be responsible for yourself, then you can make the rules. Life's tough sometimes; at every age.

[anthro-nerd]

The legal age for Snapchat is 13 years old. Maybe sit down with your parents and explain, calmly, why you want it. Or ask them to speak to your friend's parents about it. You can set it so your snaps can only be seen by your friends, so it's not public. And your parents can check which celebrities you follow on there to make sure they approve. Respect their decision, but Snapchat isn't any more dangerous than any other social media platform, and you can adjust the privacy settings to ensure they're happy :-) Good luck.

[anthro-nerd]

Spath, you can turn off the location feature, as I do with mine.

[xstitcher]

Well put OG.

[CastInstell]

Somehow, I agree with your parents at this point.

[waterboatman]

svc you're parents are right. They have your wellbeing and safety at heart. There are some evil people that prey on youngsters on such sites.

You are intelligent, I'm sure that when you think about it you'll realise you parents are right. They love you and want to keep you safe, What can be wrong with that?

[Garaman]

My opinion is that the Old Geezer has given the perfect answer.

[ummmm]

At 14 I wouldn't even let my kids use my laptop out of the living room. This was before they had smart phones though.